You know what I love about this city? They performed the DUI Checkpoint in an area where there is a BIG ORANGE SIGN that informs us that yes, this stretch right here is in fact a DUI Targeted Enforcement Area.
But really, how many cars of buddies are on their way home after a night of partying at Matrix and about to get on the Parkway when one says to the other, “Dude. We can’t go THAT way. It’s a DUI Targeted Enforcement Area! Find another way home!”
And what is UP with those BIG ORANGE SIGNS?!
- Beware of Aggressive Drivers!
- Don’t Tailgate!
- Slow Down — Save a Life!
- Buckle Up! Every Time!
Really, I’m wondering, does ANYONE really pay attention to these signs. Does a speed devil from out of town traveling through the city hear his wife say, “Honey, didn’t you see that sign? Please! Slow down and save a life!”
If anything, this city needs BIG ORANGE SIGNS that are really useful:
- Don’t Give the Finger to Other Motorists Unless you are Willing to Take a Bullet!
- Don’t Stay in the Right Lane Which is an Exit Only to Squirrel Hill/Homestead Until the Very Last Second then Merge Left Just Before the Tunnels!
- Do Use a FREAKIN’ Turn Signal!
- Don’t Slow Down! It is just a Harmless Tunnel.
- Beware of Abyss-like Potholes that Could Swallow your Passat Whole!