Danger! Big Orange Signs Ahead!


Anyone see the DUI checkpoint on the Parkway East on Friday night? Other than the four guys being led away in handcuffs, that is. When’s the hearing guys?

You know what I love about this city? They performed the DUI Checkpoint in an area where there is a BIG ORANGE SIGN that informs us that yes, this stretch right here is in fact a DUI Targeted Enforcement Area.

But really, how many cars of buddies are on their way home after a night of partying at Matrix and about to get on the Parkway when one says to the other, “Dude. We can’t go THAT way. It’s a DUI Targeted Enforcement Area! Find another way home!”

And what is UP with those BIG ORANGE SIGNS?!

  • Beware of Aggressive Drivers!
  • Don’t Tailgate!
  • Slow Down — Save a Life!
  • Buckle Up! Every Time!

Really, I’m wondering, does ANYONE really pay attention to these signs. Does a speed devil from out of town traveling through the city hear his wife say, “Honey, didn’t you see that sign? Please! Slow down and save a life!”

If anything, this city needs BIG ORANGE SIGNS that are really useful:

  • Don’t Give the Finger to Other Motorists Unless you are Willing to Take a Bullet!
  • Don’t Stay in the Right Lane Which is an Exit Only to Squirrel Hill/Homestead Until the Very Last Second then Merge Left Just Before the Tunnels!
  • Do Use a FREAKIN’ Turn Signal!
  • Don’t Slow Down! It is just a Harmless Tunnel.
  • Beware of Abyss-like Potholes that Could Swallow your Passat Whole!




2 Comments

  1. Walt
    July 22, 2005 3:35 pm

    Do you know of any checkpoints this weekend



  2. pittgirl
    July 22, 2005 4:10 pm

    No, but I would highly recommend that you stay away from any Big Orange Sign that says, “Targeted DUI Enforcement Zone”. Just a hunch.