“Can I call?” I don’t know, can you?

Couple of weeks ago I was at my Starbucks (it’s mine, I own it) and I had the fortunate luck of ordering my Venti Skim Tazo Chai Tea Latte from a BRAND SPANKING NEW shaking-in-her-shoes barista. The poor dear. I ordered my drink in clear English because I appreciate it when people speak clearly and at a nice volume, so I aim to please and do the same.

So I said “Venti Chai Tea Latte, oh, and nonfat milk please”. Poor poor dear. She is trying to push the buttons to ring up the order while calling out the order and her brain just could not do it. She says very loudly while looking right in MY eyeballs, “CAN I CALL A . . .” and she just . . . trails off. I kind of jumped because WHY is this girl yelling at me!?!? Then she starts again, “TALL”, at which point I gently corrected her that I wanted a VENTI, the complete opposite of a Tall. Again looking at me directly she starts shouting, “Can I call a venti . . .” and trails off.

People, at this point she looked scared and I am pretty sure I witnessed an actual blown brain fuse as she suddenly went all blank and Stepford on me and was quiet for like six seconds then goes, “Can you tell me again what you ordered?” Poor thing. So I said again, “Venti chai tea latte w/ nonfat milk” (actually I spoke the word “with” I didn’t say “w slash”). She repeats it to me TWICE to make sure she got it. “Venti Chai Tea Latte, skim?” I reassured her that she got it right, and she turns to the barista making the drinks a foot and a half away from her and yells, “Can I call a . . .” to which that barista says, “Don’t worry, I got it,” and hands me my drink already made probably two whole minutes ago.

Not just ANYONE can be a Starbucks barista. And hey, I think we all need one of these don’t you?

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