Why I hope Mark Cuban buys the Pirates!


I know it is early, but hey, the man went on record that he is interested in the Pirates.

Not a baseball fan, not a Mark Cuban fan, also not a Kevin McC. fan, however, I am a Pittsburgh fan and I want to see baseball become a bit more popular in the Burgh, and I certainly would like to see a winning season for a change. The last time the Pirates had a winning season, I was all of 18 years old. Holy crap.

So whether you like the guy or not, here’s why he should buy the Pirates, and why you should want him to buy the Pirates:

1. Instead of seeing Kevin McC. behind home plate, engaging in quiet, most likely boring conversation while appearing as if he is belabored by attending the game at all, Mark Cuban would be hella fun to watch behind home plate as his ADD meds gradually wore off throughout.

2. When a bad call is made, even before Lloyd is able to work up enough spit to get off of the bench and charge, Mark Cuban would leap over the railing of the Home Plate Club and whip up a dust storm while using words like “asshat” and “your mother”. Fun!

3. He would be the first owner ejected more times per season than the manager.

4. His philosophy is “whatever it takes”, which is what the Pirates need, not “it will get better” which seems to be the Pirates’ current philosophy.

The Pirates needs someone like that, at least I think.





1 Comment

  1. Anonymous
    April 8, 2006 10:29 pm

    PLEASE O PLEASE WILL CUBAN BUY THIS TEAM> MCCLATCHY IS A JOKE AND I HOPE ALL HIS GODDAMN NEWSPAPERS GO BANKRUPT!!!!!!!!!!! WE WANT CUNAN U BASTARD