I didn’t TRIP, I was “thrown down by a wire”

Holy shit! Do not fear disease. Do not fear getting hit by a Port Authority bus while crossing Liberty. Do not fear lightning. But please, if I can convince you to fear anything, it is tripping over a wire. You do not want to live with that pain and suffering.

Karen Edmonds is the case in point. She was “thrown to the floor” when she tripped over a wire during an event in the gymnasium at her child’s elementary school in Hempfield and is suing the district for $60,000 because of the following, according to the lawsuit:

  1. She required surgeries on her left arm and right shoulder
  2. She sustained bruises and contusions to various muscles, tendons, nerves, ligaments, bones and soft tissues
  3. In addition to the fractures, she suffered permanent injuries to her head, face and mouth
  4. At one point during her treatment, doctors inserted a tube in the right side of her neck to provide nourishment and medication
  5. Other permanent injuries include scarring and deformities to her left arm, right shoulder and neck
  6. She also can no longer work.

Good God!

Sniff sniff. Do you smell that? It smells like sarcasm.

Okay, maybe she WAS that hurt, I don’t know, but something isn’t right here. This MAY have something to do with the fact that I once tapped (for real, we were stopped and I stepped on the gas too soon) the back of a huge truck with my old college car (a 97 Ford Escort). No damage to my car or the truck, but the truck driver claimed his back was injured. Three years later, just before the statute of limitations runs out, he and his wife sued me for $65,000 ($35,000 for his pain and suffering and $30,000 for her pain and suffering because according to the lawsuit, he couldn’t provide “sexual satisfaction” to her as a result of the accident. And yes, I cracked up and showed it to everyone I knew when I read that part).

My insurance company settled for $4,000, but I would have fought it to the Supreme Court. It was that ridiculous. Also? I guess his sexual prowess was only worth $4,000 to his wife. Pity.

I hate frivolous lawsuits and this one just has that air about it.



  1. Henry
    August 23, 2005 11:22 am

    Thats the sad part—-insurance WILL settle with her. No doubt about it.
    Maybe they needed a sign:


  2. rob
    August 23, 2005 11:37 am

    What about “signs” that state “Beware of low flying ‘Pigeons’ looking to peck “PittGirl’s” ‘eyes’ out”?

  3. Libby
    August 23, 2005 3:02 pm

    Many years ago, I was T-boned by some woman who came flying over a hill. Three years later, the day that the statue ran out, I was served with papers (so I couldn’t counter-sue.) She hadn’t been wearing a seatbelt, so she injured her knees, and couldn’t work scrubbing floors any more. She had gotten a job in an office, MAKING MORE MONEY. So she sued me for what, giving her a better life? My stupid, stupid insurance company still gave her several thousand dollars. Yeah, that’s justice.

    Okay, now I’m all “worked up.” I’m going to go have “lunch.” Now I’m sounding like Joey, when he can make everything sound dirty. “Grandma’s chicken saaalad….”

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  5. pittgirl
    August 23, 2005 3:47 pm

    Heh. I loves me some Joey, Libby. I hates me some pigeons, Rob. And I love Henry and HATE HATE HATE SPAM!!! Gah.

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  8. katie's brain
    August 23, 2005 4:29 pm

    Insurance companies blow–so do spammers. They’re out in full-force everywhere lately. I had to turn on the word verification thingy in preferences, which stops the automatic spammers–or most of them anyways.

    Funny blog!

  9. Anonymous
    August 23, 2005 4:35 pm

    It’s no wonder the pigeons are acting up, according to Libby, the statues are coming to life and running around.

  10. Henry
    August 23, 2005 5:17 pm

    Almost on command the spammers show up.
    I think you need an Annoying Spammer of the Week…
    “This weeks honors go to Acne Cream Spammer!”
    Now we hate “spammers” AND “pigeons”.

    (Ha! note the air quotes)

  11. pittgirl
    August 24, 2005 9:08 am

    Henry, excellent idea! See I knew I loved you for a reason. So not only on Friday are we having the “Annoying Pittsburgher of the Week”, we are also having the “Annoying Spammer of the Week” (tm Henry) and MAYBE even the “Funniest Comment of the Week” because you guys sure do make me laugh. And that one about the statues running around is in close running for the winner this week. Awesome job anonymous.

  12. rob
    August 24, 2005 1:43 pm

    That’s a tough choice, should I try for funniest comment or most annoying spammer? I know I’d be behind in both, but I’ve been told that I can be pretty annoying at times.
    So here’s my spam entry:


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