So I’m walking down Smithfield Street today about two-ish when I see a pretty hot chick walking toward me, which catches my eye because while I may be a straight woman, attractive Burghers are something I keep my eye out for. She’s looking good and she knows it. Black dress, blonde hair, sunglasses, tiny purse. About 25-years-old.
But something is amiss. Something is . . . off.
Suddenly I realize that she is walking like a freaking dinosaur. No wait. She is walking like a dinosaur wearing four-inch stilettos.
Know why? Because she WAS wearing four-inch stilettos. And she looked like an idiot trying to maneuver around in those things. She couldn’t straighten her legs because the heels were too damn high so she had to keep her knees slightly bent and basically slap her whole foot down on the pavement, rather than heel-toe, heel-toe like most people walk.
Granted there are women that are capable of walking in four-inch heels, but not a whole lot are able to do it and still look good once they start moving. Because once they start moving they basically look like a two-year-old that put on her mom’s heels and is now trying to walk on a cobblestone driveway…that is covered in ice…while blindfolded.
Anyways, she stumbled over nothing but air, and inside…I laughed a little. I’m an awful person. Probably, tomorrow a pigeon is going to come after me just for the sake of karma.