Chivalry? Yeah, it’s dead.

This morning my bus from an outer county was particularly packed (yes, Vince Sacca, with poor, loud, riff-raff … carrying their LV bags and Ralph Lauren umbrellas while talking on their Blackberrys. Riff-raff can be SO classless). The bus was so full that even the dude that intentionally spreads out over two seats was asked to scrunch up a bit and let a dainty lady sit in the seat next to him.

We’re buzzing down the road when we hit our final stop to pick up one lone woman, about 35-ish, cute, thin, professional. There’s nowhere to sit, so she stands in the aisle of the posh bus while about 20 men remain reclined in their seats and don’t move a muscle, and just go to sleep.

Five minutes later, I’m SURE that the nice, strong guy that I’m sitting next to who is about late-20s-ish will offer up his seat. Nope. So there she stood, getting tossed around in her heels for 35 minutes while everyone just watched.

Is this a result of the women’s movement? Or the fact that someone murdered chivalry?

I have many foreign friends and I am continually amazed when I stand to leave a table, they all stand. When I return to the table, they all stand. When I reach to pour myself a drink, they jump to make sure they do it for me. They kiss my cheek every time they say goodbye or hello. They don’t let me carry anything heavy and they are nice to old people.

I say bring chivalry back to the Burgh. I may be doing horrible things to the women’s movement by saying this, but I like it when men open doors for me, when they slow their cars down to let me cross the street, when they let me get out of the elevator first, when they throw their jackets over puddles so that I do not get my heels wet. Okay, I made that last one up.

Next time, I’m going to get up and offer my seat, just to make those guys feel bad.

I’m not saying it is every American guy that has no sense of chivalry; I’m saying the guys on my BUS have no sense of chivalry. Or they we’re all EXTREMELY tired and needed their sleep.

Either way, if you’re a guy, do me a favor would you? Be a cool guy and offer up your seat. I promise you she will NOT give you a lecture about how women are just as strong and capable as men. She will say thank you and have a seat.


  1. Julie
    August 31, 2005 11:06 am

    You have a bus with reclining seats? Or was that a joke?

  2. pittgirl
    August 31, 2005 11:19 am

    That was not a joke. Honest. They recline about four or five inches.

  3. blee1
    August 31, 2005 11:28 am

    Things to note:
    A man opening a door for a woman is thought to have originated with the Vikings. They would force women to enter a room first so that if someone was intent of killing someone walking through a door the woman, and not the man, would be killed.

    I still open doors for all the women I see. I also give up my seat, take my hat off indoors, etc. What I don’t do is the ‘stand when a woman sits at a table’. I used to but EVERYONE gives you funny looks.

    I learned this from my grandmother and my father. I can clearly remember bring my first GF to the house when I was 17 (yes, very late bloomer) and when I walked into the house in front of her I got the nice ‘smack upside the head’ for not opening the door for her. Lesson learned.

    Ah well.. welcome to the world in which we live.

  4. pittgirl
    August 31, 2005 11:43 am

    Oh and Sloan? Totally unrelated to this post, but the guys at are getting on your ass now. Golly.

  5. Rob
    August 31, 2005 11:55 am

    If I get to a door before my wife, I open it. If she gets to a door before I do, she opens it. We do this for others, no matter the sex.

    She holds my coat for me while I put it on, and I do the same. The order is “Whoever gets their coat first.” We also do this for others, although I will not hold a woman’s coat for her while her husband is standing there. It’s his job, and I don’t want to make him look worse by doing it.

    I’ll offer my seat to anyone whom I think needs it more than I. I also tend to like to “surf” on a bus, so often, I won’t take a seat, even if I’m tired. If I’ve just had a rough day, I’m exhausted, and I’m loaded with packages, I’m not giving up my seat to a 25 year old woman who’s fresh as a daisy. Sorry.

  6. blee1
    August 31, 2005 1:21 pm

    Thanks for the heads up. Can you send me some of what they are saying?

    And to Rob and the bus surfing: If you get the extra long buses that bend in the middle and you stand at the pivot point…. that’s quality surfing.

  7. Julie
    August 31, 2005 1:27 pm

    I LOVE those buses! But I never sit in the bendy part. I figure if the bus is going to snap in half, those people are going to be the first ones to go flying out into traffic.

  8. blee1
    August 31, 2005 1:41 pm

    All the more fun!

    Ride it like a skim board!

    “There’s a bomb on the bus. We must get off the bus… NOW”

  9. Grey Hodge
    September 2, 2005 12:20 pm

    This kind of thing makes me sick. It’s these kinds of men that give the rest of us a bad name. If I pulled a stunt like that and my mother found out, she’d get a step ladder, climb up, and smack me in the back of the head for being so rude, even after all these years. And frankly, I’d let her.

    She’s right guys. Offer up a seat. Hold open the doors, be a gentleman. Sure, a lot of the time you won’t get a thank you, but that doesn’t make it any less nice a gesture, or make your effort less worthy. You’ll find that if you do these little things, you’ll have a better reputation, more respect, and generally have a slightly better life.

    Besides, it’s a great way to meet chicks. ;)

    As for reclining seats, wow, it HAS been a while since I rode a PAT/PAG/Whatever bus then.