So I went to Kaufmanns this afternoon for the first ever Prescriptives gift time (males, don’t ask) and then headed across the street to Sbarro because a slice of pizza had my name on it. Really, it spelled out PittGirl in pepperoni. Very weird.
I digress. As I leave Sbarro, I am enjoying the beautiful day when the ass of the chick walking in front of me grabs my attention. She was wearing jeans and the entire ass portion of those jeans was covered in gold sparkly things that formed the outline of a butterfly. I was transfixed. It wasn’t even that nice an ass. And I may be a straight woman, but I know when another woman has a nice ass. Still I looked away, only to see the sparkle in the corner of my eye and was again transfixed. I couldn’t look away. I said to myself, that is the point of the jeans: to scream out, “This is my ass, people! Take a good, long look!”
The woman was in her twenties. Realizing I looked like a leering sicko, and a female one at that, I sped up so that I could pass her and relieve myself of the offending hypnotic glare.
Then, one block up, there is a mother walking with a young girl. Let’s say the girl is 11-ish. That girl is wearing sweatpants with the word “dream” spelled out in big letters on the ass. Having no desire to be staring at an 11-year-old child’s ass, I was thrilled that I had reached the intersection where I could cross the street.
So my deal is this. Why allow your child to wear anything printed, glued, hot-ironed or sewn into the ass when all that is obviously designed to do is draw attention to the ass. Do you want people looking at your child’s ass?!
This is a trend I am REALLY glad is starting to fade away. PLEASE someone tell me that this trend is starting to fade away. I blame Britney Spears. I don’t know why, but I feel like this is her fault.
Also, ladies? The lipgloss is to die for. You must rush out right now to Kaufmanns and shell out 39 bucks. Go! I’ll still be here when you get back.