This is my ass

So I went to Kaufmanns this afternoon for the first ever Prescriptives gift time (males, don’t ask) and then headed across the street to Sbarro because a slice of pizza had my name on it. Really, it spelled out PittGirl in pepperoni. Very weird.

I digress. As I leave Sbarro, I am enjoying the beautiful day when the ass of the chick walking in front of me grabs my attention. She was wearing jeans and the entire ass portion of those jeans was covered in gold sparkly things that formed the outline of a butterfly. I was transfixed. It wasn’t even that nice an ass. And I may be a straight woman, but I know when another woman has a nice ass. Still I looked away, only to see the sparkle in the corner of my eye and was again transfixed. I couldn’t look away. I said to myself, that is the point of the jeans: to scream out, “This is my ass, people! Take a good, long look!”

The woman was in her twenties. Realizing I looked like a leering sicko, and a female one at that, I sped up so that I could pass her and relieve myself of the offending hypnotic glare.

Then, one block up, there is a mother walking with a young girl. Let’s say the girl is 11-ish. That girl is wearing sweatpants with the word “dream” spelled out in big letters on the ass. Having no desire to be staring at an 11-year-old child’s ass, I was thrilled that I had reached the intersection where I could cross the street.

So my deal is this. Why allow your child to wear anything printed, glued, hot-ironed or sewn into the ass when all that is obviously designed to do is draw attention to the ass. Do you want people looking at your child’s ass?!

This is a trend I am REALLY glad is starting to fade away. PLEASE someone tell me that this trend is starting to fade away. I blame Britney Spears. I don’t know why, but I feel like this is her fault.

Also, ladies? The lipgloss is to die for. You must rush out right now to Kaufmanns and shell out 39 bucks. Go! I’ll still be here when you get back.


  1. Anonymous
    September 28, 2005 3:01 pm

    Pittgirl, great Blog. I used to live in Pittsburgh. I happened open your blog a few days ago and have been reading your musings every day since. I even click on “the burgh blog” in the morning before “”–and that’s saying a lot.

  2. pittgirl
    September 28, 2005 3:14 pm

    Whoa! That is saying a lot. Thanks for letting me know you like it. I hope I can live up to the high standards of being clicked on before NYT. Suddenly, I feel pressure. :)

  3. blee1
    September 28, 2005 4:42 pm

    Some of the women at the gym wear the shorts that have A E or something written on the um… butt part.

    Anyway… My only comment is this:
    If you are going to have something printed on your ass that will make people stare at it, at least make the ass itself worth staring at.

    Most of the women in those shorts are.. well.. don’t wear them.

    As to an 11 yr old wearing something like that… I’m a progressive guy.. but come on.. she’s 11!

    Do you have any idea how hard it is being a guy today? Most 14 yr olds dress in less than women at bars. I constantly catch myself going “Wow..she kinda sex.y.. oh dear god she’s 14.. ewwww… no no no no no”

  4. pittgirl
    September 28, 2005 6:44 pm

    Went to Kennywood this summer and MY GOD! These girls. I can’t believe their parents let them leave the house looking like they do.

  5. Funky Dung
    September 29, 2005 10:41 am

    Amen! Those pants are obnoxious.

    As for the NYT, I only read that rag when someone forwards me a link. This blog beats “all the news that fits” without even trying. ;)

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