Further proof there is nothing new under the sun.

The location: a conference room in Kings Family Restaurant headquarters.

Time: About six months ago.

What: A meeting of the marketing team is called to order.

Head marketing guy: Eat’n Park is kicking our collective asses. Ideas? Go!

Marketing guy1: How about this, “Kings: We’re number two, so we try harder!”

Head marketing guy: Interesting.

Marketing guy2: How about, “Kings: Finger-lickin’ good!”

Head marketing guy: Original!

Marketing girl1: “Kings: It’s the cheesiest!” or “Like a good neighbor, Kings is there.”

Head marketing guy: Man, you guy’s are bringing the A game! Any other ideas?

Marketing girl2: Hey, Eat’n Park has the Smiley, let’s have the Frownie!

[the room falls silent. A pencil can be heard hitting the floor. Suddenly, the room erupts into “we-won-the-Super-Bowl”-worthy celebration. Grown men are hugging as confetti and balloons fall around.]

Head marketing guy: Excellent work team! Let’s get busy on that. And remember, if you see the Smiley running around, kick it in the nuts.

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