No news is BIG FAT news!

Friday night I caught the 11:00 news on WTAE. It was what was on the TV when I flicked it on and I figured I might as well keep it on to get an update on that hurricane that was settling over Cancun, the home of many a good friend.

How do the local news stations come up with their “Top Story of the Night!”? I’m curious. I’m not saying WTAE had to lead off with a raging hurricane in Mexico, but if they MUST go with something local, why not go with something PERTINENT?!

No. Instead WTAE led Friday night’s newscast off with their top story, live from the scene, being that violence did NOT break out after the Woodland Hills/Penn Hills football game. That’s right. The big news was that “fortunately” there was no news to report.

I learned that:
1. Some girls thought “Woodland Hills is going to get their butts beat by Penn Hill tonight.”
2. I learned that Vocelli Pizza closed down early because of the game.
3. And I learned that NOTHING happened after the game.

Man, that is some serious “TOP STORY TONIGHT!” shit.

The only thing that could have made this better is if they called the fact that nothing happened “breaking news.”

Concerned Anchor: “Our top story tonight, breaking news out of Penn Hill, where we can report live from the scene that NOTHING happened after the game tonight. Let’s go live to our correspondent on the scene, where again, nothing happened. What happened there tonight, Ted?”

Ted: “Nothing!”

I really cannot humanly roll my eyes any harder than I am right at this moment. It kind of hurts I gotta tell ya.


  1. Josephine March
    October 24, 2005 10:29 am

    Ah yes, the local angle… I pitched a story once to a Pittsburgh reporter who told me that I could be pitching the “second coming,” but if Jesus wasn’t at the North Hills Mall or someplace else in the Pittsburgh area, she couldn’t write about it.

  2. Henry
    October 24, 2005 4:43 pm

    I see Jesus more as a South Hills Village type of guy.
    But I could be wrong…