PittGirl keeps you informed: “Glued Genitals” case!

I feel it is my duty to keep you completely up-to-date on the “Glued Genitals” case:

Some new information:

  1. She used the nailpolish to paint Elvis side-burns on his face and to put large polka dots on his hair to make it look tie-dyed. Please keep in mind that this man is in his late fifties. So you can get an accurate mental image. I care.
  2. He spent four hours at Forbes. An oil used to dissolve the glue didn’t work, so nurses had to “peel Slaby’s flesh apart. They took pictures of his body.”
  3. She is claiming that it was a sexual enhancement game.

Attorney Chuck Evans told reporters today Ms. O’Toole glued her lover’s genitals to his stomach and leg as part of a sex game the couple played several times over their year-long relationship. Applying glue and fingernail polish to one another’s bodies was an agreed-upon enhancement to their lovemaking, Evans said outside a courtroom in Westmoreland County.

Guys, PittGirl is not a sexual freak, so this one is new to her. Could someone delicately please tell me if applying Super Glue to genitals is in fact used as a common “enhancement to lovemaking” or is this the lamest defense ever?

The only thing that I have yet to find out is what exactly it was she wrote on his lower back. All I’ve found so far is that it was “profane”. I’ll keep you posted.

As an aside, yesterday, I tried to tell my male friend the jist of this story (he is not very informed regarding local news) and I had several spells of hysterics where I couldn’t get the story out. You should try explaining this to someone who hasn’t yet heard the story.

Also? I give it about one more day before the national media puts this one on their “would you believe?” items…oh, wait. Never mind.

1 Comment

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