Turkeyboy? Turkeyboy.

As you prepare for your Thanksgiving feast I’m sure you are going to place a carefully chosen decoration in the center of your elegantly decorated table. Perhaps an artfully done flower arrangement, or a cornucopia of harvest goods, or . . . .

Can I interest you in this native Burgher?

I really can’t fathom how it is that no one has bid yet on this.

It’s a turkey, but it’s a boy. It’s a boykey; it’s a turkoy; it’s. . . really really dumb.

But hey, imagine these 29 inches of weirdness greeting your Thanksgiving guests in addition to lots and lots of awesomely inappropriate framed Trib news photos.

I don’t think there would be a more awkward Thanksgiving moment, other than of course the most awkwardest-est Thanksgiving moment ever when Les Nessman released wild turkeys from a helicopter over Cincinnati.

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

Say it with me. Awesome.

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