The pigeons. The damn pigeons!

This is quite possibly the article that will make my week. PittGirl is not the ONLY one with a pigeon problem.

In trying to rid a North Side parking garage of problematic pigeons, operators have made the garage sound like a zoo.

Terrell Jefferson, director of facilities for Allegheny General Hospital, which maintains the garage, wired the facility with a sound system that plays a loud and continuous loop of squawks and screeches of hawks and owls — two primary enemies of pigeons — and the high-pitched shrieking of monkeys.

As he talked during an interview in the garage, two pigeons flew nearly over his head and landed on a water pipe.

Jefferson smiled. “That’s why I said some of them have to be deaf.”

See that Burghers? Those two pigeons? Yeah, they were a warning for Mr. Jefferson. Probably right now, the North Side Pigeons have struck a deal with the Market Street Pigeons, (you know the ones that crowd atop the Circle Bar), and are planning to let Mr. Jefferson have it.

I mean, come one, pigeons are the smartest animals on the planet. I know this. They have no fear of humans, and that is something they LEARNED to deal with, along with cars and buses and other things that weren’t really around 100 years ago. So believe you me, these pigeons have already figured out that it’s a wired audio and are probably dismantling it as I write, all the while plotting which of Mr. Jefferson’s eyeballs to go at first.

The pigeons! The damn pigeons.


  1. Anonymous
    November 30, 2005 8:45 am

    Pigeons are like rats with wings. They literally practically land on you downtown. It is so gross. They are HUGE too. What are they eating? Where are they getting food with steroids? Pigeons…yuck!!

  2. Rob
    November 30, 2005 9:14 am

    Pigeons are wonderful birds.

    Besides, we need something to feed to the perigrines!

    Bill Burns is dead. Let pigeon hatred die with him.

  3. pittgirl
    November 30, 2005 9:42 am

    If by “wonderful birds” you mean “scary agressive smart little buggers” then yes, pigeons are wonderful birds. :D

  4. Sherry Pasquarello
    November 30, 2005 12:11 pm

    i have pigeons AND turkeys which ARE i swear, pigeons on steroids. the walk in front of the cars and stand there daring you to hit them(they can cause big time damage and they know it)i have worked out a deal with them both, i feed em, they go somewhere else. feathered protection racket, but hey, i’m out numbered. (i also now have 3 coyote behind my house) i am a 10 minute drive from the city. i say give in now, remember hitchcock!

  5. pittgirl
    November 30, 2005 12:21 pm

    Remember the turkey that smashed into like the 20th floor of PPG place a couple of years ago and landed with a huge thud in the square? You never see pigeons falling from the sky like that because pigeons are SMART asses. Thus the difference between the turkeys and the pigeons. The brains! And if pigeons were turkeys, they’d have figured out a way by now to make their meat not taste good to the human tongue, saving themselves the slaughter each Thanksgiving. Have I told you all how much I hate pigeons?

  6. Sherry Pasquarello
    November 30, 2005 12:55 pm

    maybe the turkeys are the enforcers for the pigeons??? turkeys with nicknames like “knuckles” or “big tommy”
    i’ve never eaten wild turkey. they look really lumpy and nasty as far as eating goes. me, i get my turkey, nameless, wrapped in plastic as the gods intended. ; )

  7. Mark
    November 30, 2005 10:06 pm

    My crazy next door neighbor growing up used to feed the birds so heavily that the city pigeons made her house a daily stop (rats liked her place too, but at least they didn’t crap on everything.)

    now, since I never plan to run for public office…

    I learned from shooting multiple hundreds of the damn things: First, a body shot is quicker/cleaner than even a perfect head shot. Second, resistance is futile… too many, too fertile.

    I think the best bet is to trap them. You won’t get rid of them, but last time I checked they paid $3 a bird for pigeon shoots. It’s potentially satisfying and profitable.

  8. Mark
    November 30, 2005 10:12 pm

    re: wild turkey

    They are quite tasty… the white meat is slightly dark, and much more flavorful. Dressed they look pretty much like a slimmed down store-bought bird.