When toddlers rob banks.

Merry freakin’ cold Wednesday morning! It is mornings like this that is the reason that God gave us Starbucks and whatever crack they are putting in their drinks.

Thought I’d start out the morning with a greatly interesting story out of Johnstown.

A 13-year-old girl was charged with holding up a bank, police said.

The robbery took place around noon Tuesday at the First National Bank in the Moxham neighborhood of Johnstown, about 60 miles east of Pittsburgh, police said. The branch has been robbed four times in the past five years.

Police said the robber walked into the bank and handed the clerk a note demanding money, and didn’t display any weapon.

Police Capt. Andy Frear declined to discuss how police determined that she was the robber. Police had initially said they were seeking a clean-shaven black male wearing a red sweat shirt and khaki pants.

Heh. I’m going to go out on a limb here that if this chick is actually white, and therefore wasn’t the original suspect, that we will be seeing a big fat totally justified racial profiling lawsuit out there in Johnstown.

Just a hunch I’m having due to the Captain’s refusal to discuss it.

Frantic Teller: “We were just held up!”
Police Officer: “Was there any black individual in or in the vicinity of this building at the time?”
Frantic Teller: “Yes!”
Police Officer turns to partner: “I think we’ve got our suspect, Joe. Let’s ride.”

Also? Thirteen?!? Pretty soon cutie pie little toddlers will be riding their Wal-Mart Jeeps to the bank, put their hands in their Winnie the Pooh jackets, point it at the teller and say, “Give me all your money, biatch. Kiddie needs a new choo-choo train.”

And then the world will end.





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