PittGirl takes a lunch … sorta.

Know what I hate? Kaufmann’s. Frickin’ DOWNTOWN Kaufmann’s to be exact.

I ran out of my necessary Supernova Prescriptives Lipshine (completely worth the $17.50, ladies) so I headed the few blocks over to purchase more.

I normally avoid anything above the first floor of Kaufmann’s but for some reason I ventured up the escalator to check out the fourth floor. Stupid, stupid PittGirl!

I got brave and went up to the fifth floor before I decided to come back down. And then I remembered why I freaking hate Kaufmann’s. I am a pretty smart girl with a good head on her shoulders, a respectable IQ, a college education, etc., but when I go to downtown Kaufmann’s, I get lost … really lost.

I can never find the escalators and when I do, I can’t take them all the way down because invariably, I’ll get to like the third floor and the escalators just disappear. Sometime over the last few years, Kaufmann’s wised up and put big signs everywhere to tell you where the crap you can find the next set of escalators. That helped a bit, until I ended up on the lower floor in a section I had never seen before and had totally lost my bearings. I was surrounded by men’s ties and wallets and gadgets, but I was NOT on the second floor in the men’s section.

So there I was randomly walking around the first floor with a duo of 900-year-old ladies, mumbling “What the f*#&!?”

I finally saw some light coming from Forbes and was able to feel my way along the wall to Fifth.

I know it is just me, because everyone I speak to says they have no problems navigating the random corkscrew layout of the Downtown Pittsburgh Kaufmann’s.

By the way, if you’ve got a 900-year-old grandma and she doesn’t come home tonight … she’s probably still wandering the first floor of Kaufmann’s mumbling, “What the f@#*?!!”





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