Monthly Archives: January 2006

A new — to PittGirl– Steelers Fight Song


This may be old to you, but it was new to PittGirl.

I have no idea how I feel about this.

I have no words. It goes from being spooky, to a bit odd, to weird, to kind of cool, back to weird again and on it goes.

I like how the lady at the beginning is looking like she absolutely loathes her husband for making her do this foolish thing, and then she starts ROCKING the polka!

And you know there will never ever be another song that includes the words “Ken Whisenhunt”

Also? The videography might give you a seizure.





Try again, WQED.


Probably getting lots of complaints because they named some nasty trolls (ok, maybe that’s harsh) as the 25 most beautiful Burghers, WQED’s Pittsburgh Magazine has ALREADY opened up nominations for the the January 2007 edition of the mag.

I think you know what to do. Nominate some attractive people! Physically attractive, my God.

PittGirl will be nominating her usual suspects:

  • Matt “Yowza!” Lamanna of the Carnegie Museum of Natural History
  • David “Hot DAMN!” Conrad of PittGirl’s dreams
  • Wendy “Sonni who?” Bell from WTAE (I’m picturing her profile photo being her in a swimming pool, just coming out of the water, with no makeup on … I swear I’m straight. Wendy just does that to me.)

Get to it, damn it. I expect next year’s edition to take my freakin’ breath away, not make me want to toss my cookies.

It’s time to send a message to WQED and that message is this: You suck. Try again.

Emails should be sent to beautifulpeople@wqed.org





Oh, LaMont. Volume II.


If PittGirl used the “F-word” she would use it right here:

Screw it.

I am a Burgher. I live in the Burgh. There is no way in hell I am going to get through the week without posting about football damn it! It just isn’t going to work.

If you aren’t a football/Steelers fan … what is WRONG with you?! Just kidding. Bear with me folks. Things will get back to normal after Sunday. Unless we win. Then this city is going to lose its freaking mind. (I really really wish I used the “F-word”, but this site is supposed to be safe for work).

So why did I rescind my no football posts rule? Well, you can thank the PG’s awesome fashion editor LaMont (“that’s big L, small A, big M”) Jones for that.

With the entire PG practically becoming a Super Bowl program booklet, the fashion editor probably felt a bit left out. So he chimed in with this article that discusses whether the Steelers should start wearing black pants. I’ll give you all a moment to stop laughing. Done? Okay. Moving on.

Some AWESOME LJ lines in the article:

  • Their advice? Ditch the “gold” pants in favor of black, the other half of the Steelers’ official team colors. Maybe add a tuxedo-style gold stripe down the outer legs for some pizzazz.
  • Black would look more tough-guy. And it would camouflage mud, dirt and grass stains better than the yellow pants. But there are trade-offs. While black might look more bad boy than ballet, lint would be more visible on black fabric. And paired with white away-game jerseys, it could make players look top-heavy. (Some already do.)
  • Perhaps the problem isn’t the pants, but the way some of the Steelers walk in them. Uncomfortable waddles suggest the need for a more comfortable fabric.

I bet Jerome Bettis is constantly complaining that he looks like a sissy because he wears gold pants, and that he is fed up … fed up! … with how quickly the mud, dirt, and grass stains show up on his gold pants. And Steelers players don’t waddle like that because their delicate skin is chafing from the fabric; they walk like that because they have big, giant, massive huevos.


I know I say this a lot, but it’s just so right in this instance: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!





Why Tom Murphy should be a firefighter

Let me preface by saying that I love firefighters and I know that firefighters are heroes. That said…

Dudes?

There are 142 employees of our fine, financially struggling city that make more than the Mayor and most of them are firefighters. 18 of the top 25 earners in the city are firefighters!

Holy shit!

How come when you watch Rescue Me or any Hollywood depiction of a firefighter they always live in some little house or dusty apartment where they are struggling to make ends meet? Firefighters of the world? You’d best get your ass to the Burgh where the money is good.

Also hilarious? The budget says that the mayor is supposed to be the highest paid employee of the city.

Heh.

If I were Tom Murphy, I’d look into firefighting as a post-mayoral career choice.





No fruit chews? The hell kind of daycare is this?


Here it is. A non-football post. You’re welcome.

A criminologist at CMU has used lots of geniusy methods and numbers and charts and graphs to determine the most physically aggressive group of human beings.

Guess who that is?

The Bi-Polars? The passive-aggressives? The death-rowers? The Mala Noche (gotta watch the Shield)? Steelers fans if the Steelers don’t win the Super Bowl? (DAMN IT! So close.)

Nope.

It’s the TODDLERS dummy! And no, The Toddlers is not a new brand of cutthroat gangs roaming the streets. Toddlers — as in young children who toddle around and play toys and learn to do poop in the potty.

I only have one thing to say to this.

WORDY MCWORD WORD!

I have LOTS of experience with toddlers and let me tell you … terrors they are. They will hit when they are mad, hit when they are scared, hit when the fruit chews run out, hit when the air doesn’t feel right, throw toys just for the hell of it, throw heavy objects at others’ cranial regions, scratch, bite, and otherwise maim for no good reason. Draw a line in the sand and they will jump over it as fast and far as they can with a pogo stick and a look of pure glee on their faces. Their general facial expression is the verbal equivalent of “Bring. It. On.”

Dude nailed it on the head.

Scary little buggers.