My dog is stupid.

I have a dog and my dog is stupid. I love my dog. I spoil my dog. I would never hurt my dog. But my dog is stupid.

  1. When you throw a treat to him, it bounces off of his nose. He can’t catch. He doesn’t even try.
  2. My dog is terrified of balloons. Really terrified. He cries when he sees them.
  3. My dog regularly drinks the pee as it comes out of my other dog. “Ew,” is right.
  4. My dog likes to roll in deer poop. Loves it! He seeks it out.
  5. My dog is a little dog and he is terrified of kittens but will walk up to a Rottweiller and bite it in the balls.

My dog is stupid. But my dog is smarter than Ricky Williams.

This makes Ed Bouchette’s article (scroll to last item) really ironic.


  1. Rob
    February 20, 2006 2:32 pm

    A lot of humans are terrified of balloons.

    We’ve got a parakeet named “Crestie” with the “crest gene.” The crest gene causes brain damage that forces feathers to stick up on it’s head. Parakeets aren’t the brightest of the parrots — they’re not even as intelligent as dogs. Crestie is stupid by parakeet standards. Crestie’s smarter than Ricky Williams.

  2. Sherry Pasquarello
    February 21, 2006 10:05 am

    old discarded pet rocks are smarter than he is!