That's Church

A Burgher on eBay is claiming to be selling the previously used underwear of Ben Roethlisberger. Well, actually the “Roethlisberger” part is implied. Do I believe this is true?
Hell, no. But we can just spread the rumor that it is, right? There’s no harm in that. No worse damage to a rep than say … pouring liquor down a mediocre-looking co-ed’s throat or selling crap on QVC.

Oh, Benny. You devil.

First this, then this, and now this and this.

So help me Burghers, if I die in a downtown shooting as I walk my hot self to my bus one day, I will be the pissiest, most vengeful ghost that ever haunted the Burgh. I’m talking a cloud of doom hanging over this city, I would be.

So watch it, all you assholes with guns out there. Just. Watch it.

I bet by now you’ve heard that Heinz is issuing collector’s edition ketchup bottles with the Steelers logo on them.

I bet you are going to rush out and spend $1.79 on that bottle of ketchup and you’re going to put it away for safekeeping until two years down the road when you have a ketchup emergency… there is such a thing … at which point you’ll caress the bottle lovingly in memoriam then cringe at the sound of the safety top popping as a result of your torque.

I bet you didn’t know that Burgh-based medicine dudes GlaxoSmithKline, the makers of Aquafresh, are planning to introduce a special collector’s edition of the toothpaste:

Doesn’t that look tasty?

Okay, I made that up. But I give it a week before Rolling Rock comes out with “Black and Gold Light” and PNC issues a special Super Bowl edition debit card with a $50 annual fee and UPMC starts offering a $25 discount on copays for those patients that show up in the UPMC ERs wearing Steelers gear. It’s gonna happen.

On a side note, I once saved all the newspapers from when the Penguins won their Stanley Cups. After about four years, those newspapers became moving box material. For real. It was a packing material emergency.

PittGirl thinks on the Olympics…

1. Is Bob Costas shrinking? He looks like a Hobbit now.

2.
That’s not an athlete!

THAT’s an athlete.

3.

Word.
.

I have a dog and my dog is stupid. I love my dog. I spoil my dog. I would never hurt my dog. But my dog is stupid.

1. When you throw a treat to him, it bounces off of his nose. He can’t catch. He doesn’t even try.
2. My dog is terrified of balloons. Really terrified. He cries when he sees them.
3. My dog regularly drinks the pee as it comes out of my other dog. “Ew,” is right.
4. My dog likes to roll in deer poop. Loves it! He seeks it out.
5. My dog is a little dog and he is terrified of kittens but will walk up to a Rottweiller and bite it in the balls.

My dog is stupid. But my dog is smarter than Ricky Williams.

This makes Ed Bouchette’s article (scroll to last item) really ironic.