So listen, last night I saw Sonni Abatta at an event and boys and girls? If you think the Sonni Abatta you see on TV is hot, it is nothing compared to Sonni Abatta in the flesh.
She was effortlessly oozing so much perfectly perfect perfection that I think I got some on me. Every hair? In place. Dress? Perfect. Makeup? Enough to show off her features but not so much to make her look eleventy bajillion years old (Hiya, Wendy! I know it’s not your fault but you really need to slap around those makeup bitches at WTAE for making you look like that), she sits perfectly straight, takes small bites of her food, and just looks all around hot … yet oddly approachable.
I would have snapped a photo with my camera phone for you guys, but had I been caught I might as well have stamped a big fat, “I AM PITTGIRL” on my forehead.
Now mark my words. There is no way in hell that Sonni Abatta is going to remain in Pittsburgh much longer. She’s young, hot, and has some TV experience under her belt. Some larger or national market is going to snatch her up and she’ll go on to marry an NFL star and become the next Elisabeth Hasselbeck, except Sonni Abatta will never marry someone as fugly and balding as Matt Hasselbeck.
Mark my words.