Monthly Archives: April 2006
When is the last time you saw “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” written in “One of America’s Great Newspapers”?
But, yeah, when you’re Gene Collier and you’ve got to write about the abysmal Pirates, eventually you lose your mind.
And I’m beginning to think the current series of Peanuts comics being run is apropro:
With my feelings towards the aggressive pigeon population here in the Burgh being pretty well known by now, I tend to get lots of pigeon emails.
One in particular from blogger Jo Janoski caught my eye with the title “Pigeon Pie”. Her email said:
I thought you might like this recipe for pigeon pie. ;)
The little winking emoticon made me believe I was going to click the link and be taken to a website that had a parody recipe for pigeon pie, because really, who the hell eats actual pigeons?! Other than maybe idiot contestants on Fear Factor and wild turkeys roaming downtown Pittsburgh, that is.
Lo and behold, Burghers. They eat pigeons in the UK and the link was for the BBC website.
Are you gagging yet? No? Let me help you out with that.
Click on the little “Show me MORE pigeon recipes” and you get these:
I know some Londoners read this site and I love you, but I’d like to tell you that you British are nuts! Thanks for not bringing those recipes over on the boats with you.
Once in Mexico, I ate cold octopus with the suction cups still on the tentacles. I’d eat that again before I ever eat pan-fried pigeon with cabbage puree.
And thanks Jo!
- filed under Uncategorized
This week, Bob O’Connor, in his continuing effort to sound like a regular Burgher and in his continuing effort to overuse the phrase “redd up” said this:
“You did a heck of a job reddin’ up these libraries,” said Mayor Bob O’Connor, who attended the session.
Last night, with nothing better to watch and being too lazy to watch the many episodes of CSI:Miami (Horatio Caine, yum) and Numb3rs that I’ve got Tivo’d, I somehow ended up on The Freaking Science Channel … or as I now call it, The Channel of Doom.
The jist of this program I watched was that someday in the future, no one knows when, an island in the Canary Islands called Las Palmas is going to fall into the ocean due to a volcanic eruption.
A super scary voiceover dude would say things like, “This would be a natural disaster …” dum-dum-dum “of epic” DUM DUM “proportions.” DUM DUM DUM DAAAAAH.
I swear it. The music and the voice of doom were terrifying.
There was a smarmy British geologist who kept tossing around words like catastrophe, devastation, dis-ahh-ster, ravage, and tragedy in his smarmy accent.
So he tells me that when this island falls into the sea, what is going to happen is a mega-tsunami is going to rush toward the Americas with waves as tall as skyscrapers. The waves will completely wipe out all coastal towns for 12 miles inland, including New York, Boston, and Miami.
This was all done with more super scary music, images of horrible traffic jams, and scary voiceover guy telling me that while there will be 8 hours to warn people, that isn’t enough time to evacuate people.
It was about this point that I curled up into the fetal position and started muttering gibberish.
Near the end, the voiceover man told me not to cancel my vacation plans, because it may take another century or so before it happens. Or maybe several centuries.
Just when I was starting to feel a little bit better about my pending vacations to North Carolina and Mexico, the final words of scary voiceover man were: “It’s not a matter of if this mega tsunami will strike the Americas, it is a matter of when.”
DUM DUM DUM DAAAAAH!
I hate the Science Channel and that was my first and last time watching it. I don’t care if Matt Lamanna gets his own “Hot Dinosaur Man” show on it … well, yes I do.
But man, if you live in Miami or Boston or New York and you hear that the volcano on Las Palmas is erupting, you should pack your shit and head 13 miles inland for awhile.
If you want to, you can catch this horror show tomorrow at 2:00 p.m. on The Channel of Doom. Have your blankie handy.
Wendy Bell FINALLY listened to PittGirl’s advice about bitch-slapping those makeup girls at WTAE that always set their make-up guns to “Yikes!” when doing her make-up.
Bring it, Sonni. Bring. It.