I’m not cool with the pigeons that flock around downtown. You all know this.
Know what else I’m not cool with?
Wild turkeys hanging out downtown.
If I walked by Gateway Plaza and saw a turkey even looking at me, much less doing something super scary like walking or God forbid clucking at me, I would lose my shit and probably break one of my heels in my ridiculous looking attempt to sprint up the Boulevard.
Turkeys do not belong downtown. The only way I’m cool with this turkey hanging out downtown is if he’s hunting the pigeons. Then by all means, have at it.
And just now I realized that I seem to be afraid of birds. This is an epiphany moment.
I’m a little scared to venture out for lunch. So if you hear that Bob O’Connor was seen wearing a bullet proof vest and streaking toward the scene of a good-looking sniper walking around downtown in heels looking hell bent on doing some damage … that’ll be me.