Not cool with the turkeys.

I’m not cool with the pigeons that flock around downtown. You all know this.

Know what else I’m not cool with?

Wild turkeys hanging out downtown.

If I walked by Gateway Plaza and saw a turkey even looking at me, much less doing something super scary like walking or God forbid clucking at me, I would lose my shit and probably break one of my heels in my ridiculous looking attempt to sprint up the Boulevard.

Turkeys do not belong downtown. The only way I’m cool with this turkey hanging out downtown is if he’s hunting the pigeons. Then by all means, have at it.

And just now I realized that I seem to be afraid of birds. This is an epiphany moment.

I’m a little scared to venture out for lunch. So if you hear that Bob O’Connor was seen wearing a bullet proof vest and streaking toward the scene of a good-looking sniper walking around downtown in heels looking hell bent on doing some damage … that’ll be me.


  1. Paperback Writer
    April 20, 2006 2:21 pm

    You also wouldn’t like the three turkeys that hang out every once in a while at Pitt’s Business School on S. Bouquet St.

    I saw them there when I was walking to the Post Office and though, WTF? Last year there were five of them. This year only three came back.

    Sort of weird.

  2. pittgirl
    April 20, 2006 2:41 pm

    Well, nothing will beat the turkey that committed suicide by dive bombing into the PPG tower several years back. That was nuts.

  3. Paperback Writer
    April 21, 2006 9:34 am

    What? I’ve been here for ten years and I don’t remember that! Sheesh…

  4. Julie_Gong
    April 21, 2006 10:17 am

    Turkeys in the city? That is why I come to the city to get away from wildlife. Great. No where is safe.

  5. pittgirl
    April 21, 2006 10:27 am

    Oh, paperback writer, do you doubt PittGirl.

    Here ya go! :)