No no no no no.
I almost vomited a little just watching the video. It basically seems like the Pirate Ship on steroids. Just no.
I’m not a sissy or anything. I’ve rode all the big rides, i.e. The Phantom’s Revenge or Menace or whatever it’s called now. I used to ride the Lazer Loop when I was younger. That’s right. Lazer with a Z. The Pirate Ship, meh. Did that thing where it’s like bungee jumping but more like a big bungee swing over the “river” at Kennywood. Nothing to it.
But there are certain rides that scare the bejeebus out of me and only me:
1. The Rotor. Do you remember this ride where you were placed in a big soup can with about 15 other people. The soup can would start spinning and spinning, and all the fat people’s fat would start vibrating and then eventually the really fat people’s fat would kind of separate from their bodies and plaster itself to the sides of the wall, and then the floor would fall out from under you and then you vomit? Fun.
2. The Effin Drop. That’s what I call it. I hate that piece of shit tower where you are raised up and up and up and then when you get to the top, there is a little clunk and then pause, pause, pause some freaking more while I stare out over eastern Pittsburgh and wonder what the hell I’m doing up there, and then you drop and it takes six years of zooming at the speed of light while you scream bloody murder and get all pissed off at the fact that this is a freaking scary drop, and then reach the bottom to find your shoes are gone, your glasses obviously weren’t secured that great on your cute little nose, and that the Potato Patch fries you ate 20 minutes ago are now lodged mid-esophagus. Hate.
3. The Tilt-a-Whirl. Hate for the same reasons as the Rotor.
Maybe I’m a sissy after all.
And by the way. The Exterminator? Best ride ever.