I call to order this meeting of NCPA.

Damn, is there a National Crappy Parents Association meeting happening in town this week?

That is some serious parental suckitude happening there.

People, please, do not have sex with unprotected loins if you have no intention of taking proper care of the offspring those loins generate. I’m not saying you have to become supermom or superdad whose entire life revolves around the happiness and well being of your offspring. I am however saying that if you think any of the following are acceptable parenting, you might want to consider stocking up on condoms:

  1. Robbing churches with your children.
  2. Growing marijuana for your children.
  3. Withholding medical attention for your injured child following an accident during which you were driving drunk, leaving him with a neighbor, then driving yourself to the hospital for treatment.
  4. Leaving your children in an unlocked car, hell even a locked car, so that you can run into the jail for 20 minutes to sign up for a visitation.

That needle exchange program in the city also offers free condoms.

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