I have looked into my PittGirl Ball of Magic and have seen the future.
The Ball of Magic said, “PittGirllllllllll,” (The Ball of Magic is annoying like that, dragging out my name), “The Commonwealth will spend exactly the sum of one magillion dollars on printing up one of these ridiculous bumper stickers, and will find that exactly the sum of ten people actually deface their cars with them. The rest of these will become either litter or fun little stickers that hoodlums will place on any mail receptacle, light pole, or newspaper stand they can get their hands on. The State will then spend exactly the sum of $650,000 to clean up the mess. PittGirlllllllll? (sigh) The State is stupid. You should leave the State. Take the Burgh with you.”
My Ball of Magic has never been wrong. And seriously, “I break for Shoo Fly Pie”? Do you break into millions of pieces? Do you break plates? What do you break?
I’m for truth in advertising. So PittGirl’s suggestion for the OFFICIAL (official, people! This is serious!) bumper sticker of PA:
“If you can read this, you haven’t yet hit the pothole the size of Rhode Island that is coming up right about … BAM! HAHA! You loser.”