In case you didn’t know.

In case you didn’t know. I hate the Parkway East more than I hate Paris Hilton, pigeons, and pompous politicians all rolled into one.

It is ALWAYS on the days I have to drag my car to town that hell breaks loose. This morning, some asshole broke down inside the Squirrel Hill tunnels, forcing the inbound lanes to back up to New Jersey. You think I’m exaggerating don’t you? Being the brilliant navigator that I am, I said “screw this shit” and headed into Wilkinsburg, onto Penn Avenue, and then onto Fifth. As I buzzed down Fifth at a smart pace, PittGirl, I said, you are one brilliant chickadee. As soon as the “dee” was released from my brain into my brain matter. Parking lot. Who the hell’s idea was it to do construction on Fifth Avenue? Grr.

One hour and 45 minutes to get to town. I live about 18 miles from town. That’s sick.

Here’s a tip. If you want to stay on PittGirl’s good side, don’t break down in the damn tunnels. If you do break down in the tunnels, have the decency to get out and push your car out. Is that asking too much?

I am starting to believe that the Parkway East is the gateway to hell.

Tomorrow, I get to take the bus, and I will be grabbing my fat bus driver’s chubby cheeks in my hands, and then laying a big fat kiss on his lips in a show of sincere gratitude that he can get my hot self on the busway so that I can read my newspaper, take a cat nap, and laugh at all the losers sitting still on the Parkway East.

On the other hand, if God karmas my ass by letting my car break down in the tunnels one of these days, I will totally regret this post.


  1. paperback writer
    May 31, 2006 8:23 am

    How about those jerks who feel the need to slow down to a snails pace in the tunnels? It’s like going through a time warp. I feel I’ve actually aged five years going through the Squirrel Hill Tunnel.

  2. Jen
    May 31, 2006 10:48 am

    Or the people who slow down to rubberneck when they see an accident on the opposite side of the road, thus backing up traffic for MILES!!! I hate that!

  3. Michelle
    May 31, 2006 12:11 pm

    Or how about the people that don’t yield at yield signs and just merge right into traffic without slowing down!