Monthly Archives: May 2006

Rain, rain, you’re depressing.

Well that explains why on this rainy craptastic morning that I drove in, while waiting to turn left onto Sixth Avenue from Grant Street, I saw a mailman angrily flip off a truck driver that had parked in front of the William Penn Hotel for a delivery. Mailmen are usually so genial.

I have to say, I feel a little extra bitchy too these last few days. What the hell is up with this weather!? Even Demetrius has had enough and this afternoon, he just went ahead and slapped the word “disturbances” on his map.


There’s not any showers coming … they’re disturbances.

That’s why just yesterday, I said to my friend, “If these disturbances don’t let up, I’m going to lose it.” And she said, “I heard we’re having a few disturbances tomorrow too.” And I said, “Shit.”


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Pedal, pedal, pedal your boat, furiously down the Mon.

I’m not saying the dude is lying, but man, that does NOT look very stable to me.


I mean, what happens when the Gateway Clipper, a barge, or a speed boat goes by? You can’t tell me that sucker is going to take the wake too smoothly and NOT pitch you right off the seat.

If that’s me, and I see the Clipper coming up on my ass, that’s about when I start pedaling as furiously as possible. The last thing I want is to be swimming in the gorgeously murky rivers of the Mon while all the old people enjoying the Polish Polka Cruise watch me flail about.

I might try this.


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The city does NOT pay well.

So we all know that Twanda Carlisle’s days are numbered. For real.

Her “chief of staff” resigned on Tuesday after being questioned about the circumstances.

I placed “chief of staff” in quotes because if I’m ever having the title “chief of staff,” I expect to be making a hell of a lot more money that this poor dude was making.

Let’s take a look:

  • He is 46 years old.
  • He has been an employee for a long time and Lukey called him “more or less the staple in her office. He was the longest-tenured. There’s been a ton of people through there.”
  • He probably works over 50 hours a week.

And he is being paid less than $25,000 a year! WTF?!

The “doctor” that wrote the stupid study that included only 15 pages of original material was paid $30,000 for what was likely no more than five hours of work.

Ms. Carlisle said Mr. Moss had quit a few times before, then returned to the job.

Wow. He must have some serious dirt of Twanda if she keeps letting him come back to a job he keeps quitting.

I’m not trying to insult anyone who makes less than $24k a year, so please, if that is you, I’m not being mean. I am saying I just don’t know how a 46 year old man can work for that long and in that type of setting and only be paid $24k a year. That’s nuts. If you do the math, that’s about 9 bucks an hour. He could make $12 an hour being a shift manager at Taco Bell.

If Twanda hadn’t paid Dr. Johnson for the “study”, nor her friend the $30,000 for the “straight database work,” that would be an extra $60k she could use to pump up Mr. Moss’ salary, up to at LEAST $35k. Man, I’d quit too.

Remind me NEVER to take a job with the city.


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Weird Burghers on eBay … Volume Huh?

1. Look, I’m not trying to cause like a Burgh-wide panic, but … did you know that the gateway to hell is in the Burgh? 30 minutes north of the Burgh to be exact.

Seriously.

They say that if you walk under the middle of the trees and around the trunk of one of the trees six times and jump off the cliff(all are located near a cliff), the ground will open up and take you to HELL !!

And all this time I thought the gateway to hell was in Sunnydale, or Fayette County at the very least.

2. Well, the artist is certainly no Norman Rockwell, but still, it sure is quaint nonetheless. What’s that lady supposed to be doing in the background? Poor little doggy.

3. Does he do windows? Yeah, lame joke. I know.

4. I tried. I did, but I don’t see it. I see a rock.

5. I’m so classless, because this cracked me up. Can you imagine?!!

6. Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to buy this sucker, head to SAKS, buy like a tube of lipstick there, and then when it comes time to pay … pull this gorgeous thing out of my purse. Priceless.


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The Mouth eats his words.

Twenty bucks says the White House called the Rooneys and said “if he doesn’t retract that, ya’ll ain’t visiting.”

“We will be guests of the president and I would never do anything to disrespect him. I consider our upcoming trip an honor and a dream come true. Our entire team is looking forward to visiting the White House and enjoying what promises to be the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Yeah right. Like Joey Porter would ever utter something so syrupy without being forced to.


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