This fine Friday I ventured the eight blocks or so to the Three Rivers Arts Festival for some art appreciation and some artery hardening. I was still about four blocks away when I sniffed the enticing aroma of fat from every food group. Yum.
After taking in all of the “art”, I headed down to the food stands where seriously, the longest line was for the kettle corn. I debated between a Philly Cheese Steak, a salad wrap, fried Oreos and Twinkies (but decided I didn’t want to die in my sleep tonight), and settled on a Gyro and a Sprite. That set me back $8.50. But still … best Gyro I’ve had in a while.
Some things I saw while there for a span of 30 minutes max:
1. Paintings of babies without bodies … just heads and appendages. That’s what I call a conversation piece … “And over here in my dining room, this is my painting of a baby without a body. I spent $600 on it.”
2. Glass mushrooms on a stick.
3. More ugly ass patchwork clothing than you can shake a glass mushroom on a stick at.
4. Backlit metallic fish wall hangings.
5. Bedazzled toilet seats
6. The Penguin mascot who gave me the two-handed pistol shooting wave as he walked by.
7. The Doublemint Twins riding a lime green bicycle built for two and handing out packets of new Doublemints. They were pretty hot girls, but one was blonde and one was brunette.
8. A booth where you can buy a 23-inch wooden salad bowl for a mere $300! Nothing special about it. Just a bowl. Made of wood. $300.
9. Lots of painted sidewalk advertisements saying “Know me” or “Hug me” or “Respect me” to promote the installation “art” that is simply some guy who woke up one day and said “Upside down trees are art. I will get the City of Pittsburgh to suspend trees upside down and it shall be called ‘art!'”