Haha, FoxNews.com

Poor Benny. Can’t catch a break.

Not only is he getting fined a whopping $380 bucks (which I imagine he can just pull out of his couch cushions) for riding without a license and without a helmet, FoxNews decides to use the absolute most flattering picture they could find of Benny.

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What’s going on there? Pouting? Spittle? This is the man you ladies are worshipping? That’s hot.

Also, wasn’t it nice of Santonio Holmes to go and ALLEGEDLY smack around his woman in an effort to sway the local media attention away from Benny? Now THAT is a good teammate.

Santonio, as an amateur publicist, I can tell you that this city takes the personal lives of our football players very seriously and we expect every Steeler to be upstanding citizens and to have picture perfect family lives in addition to adorable offspring on which our players dote (see Polamalu, Troy and Ward, Hines). We like to be able to look at people like Randy Moss, Ricki Williams, et al and say, “Man, that guy could NEVER be a Steeler. Our Steelers are good people!”

Can I suggest in an effort to balance out these arrests that you are accumulating at lightning speed, that you perhaps be seen in the Burgh either painting some churches, boarding up houses with Bobby, or saving the Latrobe brewery? Something … anything to make us like you. Otherwise you aren’t going to last a season in this town before you find some trash on your lawn (see Maddox, Tommy and Fleishman, Martha).

Unless, you go ahead and put up some super wicked good numbers this season, then you could pretty much make a hobby out of knocking cyclists off of the street with your Hummer, and we’ll still love the shit out of you.

This is the Burgh. When it comes to football, we really just don’t make any sense.


  1. Lino Gunn
    June 19, 2006 6:59 pm

    Yeee-Haaa you go girl, maybe somebody should smack Santonio around a bit and see how he likes it, then again you know it had to be a girl, another guy might hit back.

  2. Anthony
    June 19, 2006 9:20 pm

    That is a terrible photo of Ben, but look at the photo below it. Screech needs to sell t-shirts to save his house from foreclosure?! Who can think of football at a time like this?

  3. notayinzer
    June 20, 2006 11:48 am

    Do you think the chicken lady is holding a vigil outside the home of Santonio’s smacked up b*tch??? Barbeque, anyone?

  4. Joann
    June 20, 2006 4:24 pm

    Did you hear the 911 tape of Santonio’s neighbor and his “girlfriend”? She said, “my boyfriend, my baby daddy, whatever you want to call him, put his hands on me”. As a burgher living in Columbus, Ohio (where Santonio played football and his baby momma attends class), I feel a strong urge to retreat back to the burgh.

  5. pittgirl
    June 21, 2006 10:29 am

    I read that 911 transcript. What a weird way to word it when you’ve been attacked. “My baby daddy … put his hands on me.”

    I’d probably go with something like, “My boyfriend just tried to kill me. Get your asses here and arrest him.” But I’m a simple girl.