Shut up, Oprah.

“In Pittsburgh!?”
– Oprah Winfrey responding to Carl Kurlander’s claim that after two decades as a Hollywood screenwriter, he found happiness in his hometown.

Some of us like Pittsburgh. Including this dude, Carl Kurlander who wrote St. Elmo’s Fire and who is finishing up a movie about Pittsburgh called “Tale of Two Cities.”

And if you know all the words to “Won’t You Be My Neighbor,” you can head to the Point on July 1 and sing it with Mr. McFeely (Mr. McFeely! If you don’t love Mr. McFeely you are a cold dead unfeeling bastard). And if you don’t know all the words, just hum it.

Well, okay… here are the words. Now go be in a movie!

It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
a beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

It’s a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
a neighborly day for a beauty,
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you!
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
since we’re togeth-r we might as well say;

Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Won’t you please, won’t you please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

Yeah, I totally had to Google that. I’m a bad Burgher. See you there. I’ll be the hot brunette over whom the pigeons are circling.

Unless my childhood nightmare Lady Elaine Freakin’ Demon Fairchilde shows up. Then I’m outta there. Mr. Rogers must have been having a low day the day he dreamed up that bitch.

Category: Downtown happenings, Famous Burghers | June 22, 2006 | |