“You, ugly old man, get in the bucket. This is the mayor speaking.”

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When Bobby O started this whole “Redd up this damn city before the All Star Game” business, complete with the boarding up of ugly ass houses, the sweeping of streets, a lame web page etc., I had no idea Bobby planned to redd up people too!

The brilliant idea is to round up all the homeless people in the city, put them in a church basement for the All Star Week, and while they are there, maybe try to get them some help.

Okay, while it is admirable the “get them help” part of it, it looks a little shitty that nobody in the City-County Building seems to care about the homeless people until suddenly they become an image problem more than a humans-are-suffering problem.

I hope that man/woman that sits on the lawn chair with his/her stacks of newspapers and an umbrella on Fifth Avenue throws a hissy fit for the ages when Bobby O shows up in a front loader full of homeless people in the bucket and demands that he/she climb aboard and abondon his/her stash.

Pittsburgh is not a utopian society and no matter how hard Bobby O tries, it never will be.

The only city that is perfectly clean and has no homeless people is probably East Kabumfuck (OMG, PittGirl used the F word!). Hat tip to T&A for informing me of the most awesome fake town name in the entire world, not to be confused with the most awesome real town name in the entire world: Bucksnort, Tennesee.

Also? I get the sneaking suspicion that the scientologists are behind this whole thing. I bet every homeless person locked in the basement of the church will be audited. Now I’m totally creeped out.


  1. Awesome Comet
    June 28, 2006 5:03 pm

    Those billboards piss me off, too. Maybe I want the brother to buy himself some booze, ever think of that?

  2. Barrister Jubril
    June 28, 2006 8:19 pm

    You said the “fuck” word.

  3. paperback writer
    June 29, 2006 9:05 am

    So, after the All-Star Game is he going to go back to not caring about the homeless population? Or is he going to go all hog wild?

  4. Barrister Jubril
    June 29, 2006 9:43 pm

    In my colorful past I’ve been close to, but never actually, homeless. I had the dubious distinction, however, of being mistaken as a homeless person BY a homeless person, and he told me he ‘dug the crazy man look’ I was sporting.

    Ah, college. I looked like a taliban recruit. Or, on a good day, a heavy metal roadie.