Monthly Archives: June 2006

Holy SHIT! Wendy Bell reads the Burgh Blog?

We all know PittGirl loves Wendy Bell. We all know lots of people in the city hate Wendy Bell. We all know that PittGirl is hot. I just today noticed this comment posted on the “That’s it … Wendy still rocks” post:

You so crack me up!

A friend at the station (yes, believe it or not, there are still one or two, despite the dubious reports of my alleged bitchdom and ladder climb-uppery) who alerted me to this most legit blog. Incredible, really. You’ve actually isolated hideous pictures of sans-free makeup me and compared them to my publicity photo. Honestly. Has ANYONE ever taken a good publicity photo? I challenge you to find one. A similarly good feat is to find a Waffle House with all its letters lit.

I wish I could say I find it amusing that people would take the time to berate me and my new position at Channel 4. But it’s sad. Anyone who works there who isn’t either intimidated by me or who wishes they had my job knows I am the farthest thing from a bitch. A far cry from a back-stabber. And about the last person on earth who would ever do or say anything to injure a co-worker. I don’t have enough time to shave my legs, for Christ’s sake. How is it possble that I have so much alleged time for management manipulation?

As for comments about people either loving me or hating me, I think that’s equally absurd. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say to me, “You know what? I hate you.” You know why? Because the people who think they do — wish they had what I’ve worked for. And that’s a shame. I know who I am, what I am, and how to do what I do. If you don’t, and you hate me because of it, that’s your problem. Hate me all you want.

Fact of the matter is, I’m as real as the rest of you. I like hard workers. People who are talented. Driven. Motivated. Inspired. People who can teach me things. People I can learn from. I don’t like petty. I don’t have time for petty. I deal with petty all day with three sons. If you’re a grown up, and you’re reading this, and you supposedly “hate me,” grow up. Be a better you, and you might just feel better about your own lot in life.

Best wishes, Pittsburgh! Don’t believe what you hear… or what you read. What you see is what you get with me. Love me… or hate me.

Peace out,

Reasons additional that I love Wendy:

  1. “Peace out”
  2. “Christ’s sake”
  3. “alleged bitchdom and ladder climb-uppery”

Awesome. But anyway, Burghers, there you have it, straight from Wendy’s keyboard.

Scott Baker, what say you?

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Holy trigger finger, Batman!

This security guard that felt it necessary to fire up to four bullets at a fleeing Giant Eagle shoplifter is SO going to be fired.

On the other hand, my father has this theory (jokingly) that incredible, awesome, overreactive violence by law enforcement would solve lots of problems.  For instance, car chases …  the next person that flees the cops and and starts a two hour long police chase on the highway?  Blow the car to pieces in spectacular fashion with a shoulder-fired missle from a helicopter and see if anybody else really feels like running from the cops ever again.

Shoot a shoplifter in the back four times and see if anyone really thinks shoplifting is worth it anymore.

Hmm.  My crazy father may be on to something here.

PittGirl’s dad for president!

And forget the scientologists.  The real people we need to fear are trigger-happy security guards at the local Giant Eagle!  I think I’m going to shop with my hands in the air at all times and will just push my food cart with my stomach.  Just to be safe.

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Did Jeff Goldblum bash the Bucs, too?

A little birdie (hopefully not a pigeon) named Comet, emailed me to tell me that a little birdie from a local radio station told him that Burgh-native Jeff Goldblum threw out the first pitch at a baseball game recently and then during an interview at that event went on to bash the Pirates and/or their management for their miserable playing and that the fans shouldn’t take it anymore.

This sounds almost exactly like what Michael Keaton did.

That’s all I got.  I can’t find a single thing on it anywhere on the web.

Why am I telling you this? So that if it turns out to be true, I will have been the first to post it and will thereby become exceedingly rich and famous and David Conrad will want to be my friend.

If it isn’t true … blame Comet.

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“You, ugly old man, get in the bucket. This is the mayor speaking.”

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When Bobby O started this whole “Redd up this damn city before the All Star Game” business, complete with the boarding up of ugly ass houses, the sweeping of streets, a lame web page etc., I had no idea Bobby planned to redd up people too!

The brilliant idea is to round up all the homeless people in the city, put them in a church basement for the All Star Week, and while they are there, maybe try to get them some help.

Okay, while it is admirable the “get them help” part of it, it looks a little shitty that nobody in the City-County Building seems to care about the homeless people until suddenly they become an image problem more than a humans-are-suffering problem.

I hope that man/woman that sits on the lawn chair with his/her stacks of newspapers and an umbrella on Fifth Avenue throws a hissy fit for the ages when Bobby O shows up in a front loader full of homeless people in the bucket and demands that he/she climb aboard and abondon his/her stash.

Pittsburgh is not a utopian society and no matter how hard Bobby O tries, it never will be.

The only city that is perfectly clean and has no homeless people is probably East Kabumfuck (OMG, PittGirl used the F word!). Hat tip to T&A for informing me of the most awesome fake town name in the entire world, not to be confused with the most awesome real town name in the entire world: Bucksnort, Tennesee.

Also? I get the sneaking suspicion that the scientologists are behind this whole thing. I bet every homeless person locked in the basement of the church will be audited. Now I’m totally creeped out.

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This is GOOD baseball?

The dumb-ass, you’re just begging for PittGirl to slap you, WTF? quote of the day:

“We’re playing good baseball,” Snell said.

Huh? Losing 12 games in a row is good baseball?! Being the laughing stock of the Major League is GOOD baseball? Lord, I’d hate to see us play BAD baseball. What would THAT be like?

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