Did you hear about this?
Shortly after a judge revoked his bail yesterday, a 27-year-old man bolted from the Allegheny County courtroom as a sheriff’s deputy tried to handcuff him, and Assistant District Attorney Ed Scheid went after him.
The former Drug Enforcement Administration agent chased the younger man down two flights of stairs and out a window onto a metal roof, where the two wrestled in the pouring rain, four floors above the courthouse patio.
I don’t know about you, but as I read that second paragraph I can totally hear some awesome movie music in my head. Still don’t hear it? How about now:
Mr. Scheid, who is in his mid-60s, was on his back, about a foot from the roof’s edge.
Awesome! I choose to believe that Mr. Scheid is one smoking hot 65-year-old granddaddy.
On the other end of the “upstanding senior citizen spectrum” is this 80-year-old crack dealer from Bloomfield who made crack and traded it for sex because he’s been lonely since his wife died three years ago and figured crack is cheaper than cash.
Is there really anything I can say that will be nearly as funny as that picture? I don’t think so.