Burghers? I gotta tell you I’m a little scared to set one of my cute little painted toenails on the streets of this city. What the hell is going on these days with all the weird deaths, accidents, maimings? Let’s take a look shall we?
The other day, an old man got caught under the back wheel of a PAT bus and almost had his arm amputated.
Today, a lady’s car was dragged 260 feet by a tanker and her car became wedged beside the fuel tank and the wheels, causing her car to explode.
Today, two guys died when the bucket of their dump truck fell on their heads while they were trying to figure out why the damn thing wouldn’t lower.
On Wednesday, a construction worker was crushed to death when a hydraulic press fell on him as he was moving it.
A woman was mauled to death mysteriously by her wolf-dogs.
And the Steelers seem to be the victim of some terrible “early death” curse.
The mayor has cancer, people are drowning, and just today I saw a pigeon giving mouth to mouth in an attempt to resuscitate another pigeon.
What the hell is going on? Are we filming Final Destination IV here in the Burgh?