No wait … no wait … it gets better

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Oh, how rich is this?

On Friday of last week, the Steelers organization posted a Q & A with Santonio Holmes and please get a load of this question:

Ben Lewis from Tallahassee, FL: You seem to be very mature for your age. How did you develop that maturity and was it from your mother growing up?

I know! Shut up, stop laughing, it gets better!

Santonio Holmes: I really don’t know how I developed the maturity level that I have. It’s hard growing up without a father.

Now, I am in no way mocking the life of a child growing up without a father … I am mocking a man who was arrested for public drunkeness and again for “allegedly” choking his baby’s mama, calling himself mature.

If I had to rank Santonio Holmes’ current maturity level it would go something like this:

  • Very mature: Bert
  • Pretty mature: Big Bird
  • Mature: Elmo
  • Immature: Ernie
  • Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?: Santonio Holmes


  1. Paperback Writer
    July 25, 2006 10:28 am

    Was there a lightening storm when he wrote that? Why wasn’t he hit?

  2. dwight
    July 25, 2006 1:39 pm

    I think he was hit several times causing amnesia or brain damage or something if he thinks he’s mature.

  3. jan
    July 25, 2006 8:44 pm

    pittgirl, are YOU freakin’ kidding ME? Bert more mature than Ernie?! When a muppet becomes, say, 15 years old, you’d think he’d have the self respect to take a look at himself in the mirror and go, “yeah, fella, you might wanna take care of yourself and trim that unibrow you got going on. and you know what else, you might wanna grow up and stop dancing and singing about pigeons.”
    bert mature? ha.

  4. Lino Gunn
    July 25, 2006 10:41 pm

    Cut me a break, that old, tired, shit about growing up without a father is down the road dude. Half the population of the country grows up without a father if you believe the social workers types. Must have been a real difficult life,now having a 7 figure income and your childrens mama not having $’s to pay the rent. The dudes trash. Give him time he’ll step in it again.

  5. pittgirl
    July 26, 2006 9:11 am

    Yes, Jan, but at least Bert is a grown up enough to read the newspaper, eat his oatmeal, and go to bed early. Ernie is obsessed with his Rubber Duckie, playing games of psychedelic Hide and Seek, and NEVER lets Bert to go bed when he wants to.