Ozone Action Air Quality Heat Warning You Might Die Today Day

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It’s another one of those days, you know those Ozone Action Air Quality Heat Warning You Might Die Today if You Go Outside Days.

Which is a load of bull because who can really call in “hot” and say, “Boss? It’s an Ozone Action day. The DEP says that I should avoid going outside and if I do go outside I risk my lungs bursting into flame and my actual eyeballs melting due to the intense heat of the air. I’ll be in as soon as the alert is lifted.”


I also don’t believe that anyone actually makes their carpool decisions based on whether or not a day is an Ozone Action Day.

Yesterday, as I swam my way up to Grant Street (get it? It’s so humid it feels like we’re in water? Get it? Laugh damn it!) and observed the men in their suits and the ladies in their suits, all sweating like they were ten minutes from the execution chamber, I thought, if the powers that be want to tag days as ozone action days or air quality alert days, then by God it should MEAN something to us. It should also be a wear whatever the hell you want day. We should be allowed to wear shorts and tank tops to the office and we should be allowed to take a meeting while sitting in the center of the PPG Plaza fountain.

Really, it’s only fair. It’s hotter than David Conrad, Matt Lamanna, and Sonni Abatta playing beach volleyball out there! And I’m loving it.


  1. blee
    August 2, 2006 2:52 pm

    you have a dress code where you work? muwahahaha

    I’m in shorts, a tshirt, and sandals. God I love biotech…

    Oh and it’s still to f’n hot to even wear a shirt.

  2. pittgirl
    August 2, 2006 2:55 pm

    Yes, I am cursed with a dress code. But as I’ve said on many an occasion, I stalk American Eagle headquarters regularly for the perfect dream job at which I kick ass AND get to wear hot little jeans and flipflops while doing it.

  3. Woy
    August 2, 2006 3:52 pm

    I never thought I’d see the day where Southern California is a whole 20 degrees cooler.

    I’m glad I’m not going to die today.

  4. pittgirl
    August 2, 2006 3:59 pm

    Oooh. Kiss of death. I’d be careful for the remainder of the day if I were you.

  5. Awesome Comet
    August 2, 2006 5:05 pm

    People laugh at me when I show up to work with a diagonal sweat stripe across my shirt where the seatbelt used to be. When you see me getting shoved into a police cruiser on the news, you’ll know that’s why.

  6. paperback writer
    August 3, 2006 9:27 am

    i hate those days when i have the sweat stripe of shame across my chest.

  7. bill Haversong
    August 6, 2006 5:30 pm

    Love reading your ramblings,but have difficulty with the very light/bright backround .