Where’s Andrew McCarthy when you need him?

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I’m the kind of person that honestly hates being the center of attention. Really. This might be because I am a middle child. Either way, I tend to try not to turn attention to myself. Unless I’ve had two margaritas, because that’s all it takes, Burghers.

So you know if I laugh out loud on an otherwise quiet bus, that I found something to be particularly hilarious.

Case in point. That woman that hit the homeless woman who was trying to retrieve her dead dog from the highway, then drove off, was sentenced to jail yesterday for a year. Here’s the best part:

According to state police, Ms. Cralton was driving in the slow lane, along with three passengers, when she saw what she thought were “deer guts.” She swerved, turned on her high beams and saw something in the slow lane that she thought was either a person or mannequin, bent over at the waist, police said.

If I’m ever driving down the highway and swear I see a mannequin … a BENT OVER mannequin dressed as a 47 year old homeless woman, I will just kill myself right there, because obviously the dementia has set in and the voices will be coming next.

A MANNEQUIN?! In the middle of the highway?! Bent over?! Good excuse, dumbass.

And I bet you think as soon as you drove away, she came back to life and Andrew McCarthy came screaming out of the bushes to tend to her injuries.





2 Comments

  1. Awesome Comet
    August 5, 2006 3:44 pm

    I am commenting in this post, empty-of-comments, because I really wanted to comment on the post below, about the protest and the PG and Trib. However, I am in a library, and that comments page is coming up inaccesable due to pornography. Now I *really* want to see it.

    But what I was gonna say was … whomsoever thinks the PG is leftwing propoganda (which I will swallow as a conceivably sincere position) do you deny that the Trib is simply its twin on the right? And besides which, isn’t the evil of Ricky Santorum already a settled, objective truth?



  2. pittgirl
    August 5, 2006 7:24 pm

    I totally believe that the Trib swings right, just as much as the PG swings left.

    My point is that whichever paper I read, it has nothing to do with political slant, because I’m capable of seeing the bias and ignoring it.