Hey! Don’t sniff my ass.

I’m a dog lover. I’ve got two little cutie pie toy fox terrier/miniature poodle mix doggies. However, I would consider adopting a pigeon before I would ever think of taking my dogs to a Pirates game at PNC Park.

I once took my dogs to PetSmart because I was going to purchase sweaters for them. OMG, I am NOT a Paris Hilton dog toter that dresses her dogs in cute little expensive sweaters and tiaras. My dogs were super small at the time (they still are super small) and everytime I would let them out in the dead of winter, they would pretty much freeze so badly that I had to throw them in the dryer to warm them up. OMG! I am not a dog abuser. I am joking.

We were in PetSmart for three whole minutes before both dogs started shitting and peeing all over the clothing aisle out of pure nervousness at having other dogs around and sniffing their butts.

I’m thinking, 200 dogs on the Southwest Deck of PNC Park and you’re asking for mayhem that will likely involve lots of miscommunicated butt sniffs and spontaneously exploding doggie bladders.

My dogs are well behaved dogs. EXTREMELY well behaved. However, a smart dog owner has got to ask … if I take my extremely well behaved dog to the baseball game, a game which said doggie has no grasp of, and throw in the added extras of lots of loud noises, 199 other dogs, many of which could eat my dog like a tennis ball, will my dog remain his usually extremely well behaved self or will my dog try to chew the genitals off of any other dog that nears him? Valid question.

Dogs can take a run through an obstacle course and can check out booths along Federal Street that feature massages, grooming stations and pup-psychic sessions, as well as educational displays.

Great! Pup-psychic sessions. Do you think if I take my dogs the psychic can tell me what my male dog answers when asked the question: “Why do you insist on drinking your sister’s pee?” I’m dying to know the answer to that one.

I can’t WAIT to see the photos from this game. Awesome.


  1. Lino Gunn
    August 22, 2006 1:21 am

    I can see the headline now: YORKIE HUMPED TO DEATH BY MASTIFF AT PIRATES GAME. I can hear Bob Prince sobbing already.

  2. "O"
    August 22, 2006 10:36 pm

    Just FYI: the title of this post shows up in my RSS feed as “Hey! Don sniff my ass”

    And here I was thinking it was about Don Cannon. How disapointed I was.

  3. pittgirl
    August 23, 2006 9:23 am