1. So this means I can walk up to my neighbor, smack his face, break his eyeglasses, then turn to his wife, punch her, pull her hair, and then knock her old fragile ass to the ground … and I’ll be able to have the charged dismissed in court? Awesome. Good to know. But can I meow at them?
2. A man got on the elevator today and instead of turning around like a human being should and facing the door, he chose to face the back wall the entire time. Not kneeing him in the huevos and then following it with a swift uppercut when he keeled over in pain? All my energy. Should have done it, though. Apparently, the charges would have been dismissed.
3. Reader Jordan gave me a heads up on this rumor that Steve Teeling is hastalavistababied from WPXI. Can’t say I’m too sad as I’ve never quite grown fond of him. He’s no Stephen Cropper or Demetrius Ivory.