Luke? Just … no.

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Oh God. We’ve been pondering in several comments here on the Burgh Blog as to what Luke should take with him when he goes on David Letterman’s show.

There’s the usual: Ketchup, Iron City, Primantis, Steelers stuff, etc.

But Burghers, I fear for our wanted reputation as a young hip city if THIS is Luke’s idea of a cool gift:

“This really puts Pittsburgh on the cutting edge of technology,” said Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl at a noon roll-out of the system. “We have some WiFi Pittsburgh shirts that we’re going to take with us tomorrow to New York, to show that Pittsburgh has something that that great city, and Manhattan, does not.”

Please, please tell me these lame WiFi shirts are gifts for regular people and NOT a gift for Dave?

Luke, you need to take something VALUABLE, like autographed shit that Dave can auction to charity … not a lame ass “WiFi Pittsburgh” tshirt that I’m pretty sure even a homeless person when presented with a free one would go, “Dude. I’m not wearing that.”

While you’re at it, why not bring him an “I Break for Shoo Fly Pie” bumper sticker. I bet he doesn’t have one of those bad boys.





15 Comments

  1. notayinzer
    September 13, 2006 2:17 pm

    I think he should take Troy’s shoulder. Maybe Dave can put a healin’ on it.



  2. pittgirl
    September 13, 2006 2:21 pm

    Better yet, take Troy and have him strip. Bam!

    Oh, hush, Judge.



  3. notayinzer
    September 13, 2006 2:27 pm

    …with the WiFi logo lovingly painted on his abs, perhaps? I’ve got some paint over here and some spare time….



  4. Judge Rufus Peckham
    September 13, 2006 2:42 pm

    I am appalled. I’m getting the Archbishop on the phone.



  5. Judge Rufus Peckham
    September 13, 2006 2:57 pm

    Actually I’m not appalled., and I understand the Church hierarchy didn’t think my Troy story was especially amusing. They suggest I concentrate on ridiculing the mayor. In any event, after Luke sits down with Dave, I think it would be great if he said, “I wanted to bring you a little token from Pittsburgh, Dave, something for you to keep.” Then out comes Cyril Wecht. (And Dave really gets to keep him.) We need him to do something bold. Maybe he could even jump up and down on the couch and declare his love for Katie Holmes. And criticize Brooke Shields, too.



  6. pittgirl
    September 13, 2006 2:58 pm

    Awesome. I will pay the sum of ONE … DOLLAR if Luke will couch jump.



  7. Anthony
    September 13, 2006 3:36 pm

    I think the Judge is being glib.



  8. sally
    September 13, 2006 7:34 pm

    Luke? um, “that great city, and Manhattan”? Please please don’t say that on Letterman, because the City IS Manhattan (and Brooklyn, Staten Island, Harlem and Queens, too)



  9. yinzernation
    September 13, 2006 8:19 pm

    If he’s gonna take a shirt, why not a “Yinzer” or “Jagoff” shirt like the way cool shirts at yinzernation.com ?

    (I just had to…)



  10. ethan5
    September 14, 2006 9:07 am

    hey yinz, dont fergit ta takealong one’u’em’err “n@” bumperstickers. sheesh.



  11. d.d.
    September 14, 2006 12:20 pm

    I’m curious how he’s going to pull this off and make us look like a young hip city. Is he going to explain to Dave that we have something in Pittsburgh called “wireless internet?” While he’s at it, Starbucks makes coffee mugs that say ‘Starbucks Pittsburgh.’ Why not take him one of those bad boys and put that final nail in our young, hip coffin…



  12. Maria
    September 14, 2006 1:22 pm

    d.d.,

    While I’m not advocating giving Dave the T-shirt, what makes the Wi-Fi special is that ALL of downtown Pgh has free wireless outside — one gigantic hotspot. You can log in free for two hours a day and pay after that. This is something that “that great city, and Manhattan”(?) certainly does not have.



  13. d.d.
    September 14, 2006 3:59 pm

    Point well taken, Maria. My biggest concern is how he can present Dave with that t-shirt without looking quite lame, especially if he refers to the twin cities of Manhattan and New York City :) The availability of wireless throughout downtown certainly is a cool thing- I’ll be sure to take advantage of it next time I’m there.



  14. tot
    September 14, 2006 6:32 pm

    I think he knows Manhattan is NYC… but is just distinguishing it as a distinct part (which it is) It’s its central business district (you know, where all the big buildings are)

    when people from brooklyn/Brx/Qns/SI say they’re going “into the city” — they mean Manhattan.



  15. Maria
    September 14, 2006 6:53 pm

    Well, the central big business district is in Manhattan (mid-town), but so are the central arts, theatre, clubs, etc., plus industries: meat-packing, flower district, fashion district, etc., plus the neighborhoods like East Village, Hell’s Kitchen, Murray Hill, Harlem, Chelsea and the Upper West Side (just to name the ones that I’ve lived in). ;-)