The Burgh, as you know, is being sold to the world by our young Mayor, who regularly goes on that we have WiFi, a beautiful city, David Conrad, world class medical facilities and minds, colleges and universities, and more awesome people than you can shake an ugly stick at (some of whom have been severely beaten with the ugly stick).

But perhaps Luke is forgetting the bestest thing of all:

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That’s right, an actual organized walk of alive dead Burghers who take to the streets of the South Side to walk in full zombie gear.

You too can experience or heaven help you, you weirdo, take part in the next Zombie Walk this very Friday, Sept. 22.

Zombies are to follow the haunted house rule, which is you can’t touch anyone. I find this comforting, because as a South Side lover I know that I would freak if one of these people walked up to me and touched me. This goes back to my inability to walk through a Halloween haunted house and maintain the realization that it is all fake. I once flipped out at a fake ape jumping out of the dark at me. I once flipped out when I was waiting in line in Texas to see a haunted house and I turned around and Death, with no face mind you, was breathing down my neck. Can you imagine the freak that would result from being touched by a zombie? I’d be arrested. For sure. And then Santonio Holmes would be all over the place calling me a hypocrite.

From the site:

During the event participants are encouraged to remain in character as zombies and to communicate only in a manner consistent with zombies (such as grunts, groans and slurred moans calling for “brains”.)

That’s really very lovely.

My final thought, what would visitors who have no idea that this is an organized walk, think as they strolled the AWESOME! South Side only to encounter a group of 40 zombies screaming “BRAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS!”?


  1. pete
    September 18, 2006 2:08 pm

    they need to multitask and redd up while they’re out there…

  2. pittgirl
    September 18, 2006 2:11 pm

    I’m just hoping they clean their own drool off the sidewalks.

  3. Tep
    September 18, 2006 2:16 pm

    How are we to tell the real ones from the fake ones? Better take your shotgun just in case, and buff up on your Zombie survival skills.

  4. Chris
    September 18, 2006 2:21 pm

    Yeah I was actually wondering what would happen if I dressed up as a radical christian extremist running around trying to “smite you in the name of the Lord.”

  5. Lino Gunn
    September 19, 2006 12:36 am

    It will be the lead story on news at 11.

  6. miXi
    September 19, 2006 12:53 pm

    hmmmm, I once walked like a zombie through the south side, although it wasn’t organized. And damn if I wasn’t groped (not so much fun, no). but this sounds good.

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