Monthly Archives: October 2006

I’ve got 775,000 volts with your name on them.

So the city is all aflutter because the Burgh was named as one of the most dangerous cities in the nation, at number 65 out of 317 metropolitan areas.

At first I was like, “How can this BE?”

I am a bit naive because I feel perfectly safe in the Burgh. I’m not saying I’ll hang out in the Hill at three in the morning, but I don’t worry while I’m walking to my car in the parking garage either.

Then I looked at the latest headlines from JUST this morning:

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And now, I’m like, “Damn, this city is DANGEROUS!” while I’m Googling “Personal Tasers.”

And be ye warned violent assholes of the Burgh, because PittGirl will soon be armed with the SM-775 Stun Master 775,000 Volt Stun Gun.

I’m particularly excited to see what happens to a pigeon when it is hit with 775,000 paralyzing volts. I’ll let you know.

Um … please don’t whip your boobie out while I’m eating here.

My husband and I went to dinner with some people at a steakhouse, and one of the guys at our table started complaining that the wife of a friend of his had nursed in front of him in her own house. I said, ‘Why? It was her house.’ And he said, ‘Well, you wouldn’t do that,’ and I said, ‘Sure I would. I’d do it in this restaurant, in fact.’ He was stunned, and meanwhile, his wife is sitting there in a low-cut sweater with all this cleavage, and I’m thinking, ‘It’s OK for his wife to show off her breasts, but he doesn’t like it if I nurse my baby?”

Ding ding ding! Showing cleavage = okay. Nursing your child in the bathroom of a restaurant = perfectly okay. Nursing your child at your table in a restaurant = SO not okay!

“They’ll say, you should stop [nursing] when they’re walking and talking. Or if they’re big enough to ask for it and lift up your shirt, that’s when you should stop. They seem preoccupied with the idea that a mother shouldn’t be nursing a toddler.”

Ding ding ding! I’m all for breastfeeding if that’s what a mom chooses. However, if a toddler walks up to a mom, lifts up her shirt, unleashes the snap on the bra strap, and says “Give me some numnums, I’m hungry,” then I kind of think maybe it’s time for some cow’s milk. But that could just be me.

I will say this about this woman who is perfectly content with nursing in public, she’s a brave chick to have her picture taken for the PG while she nurses her toddler.

This city is just too much fun!

You know, the PG isn’t doing too much to help this city shake its boring, bad for singles image when all THREE of its “Just for Fun” listings are more boring than a Q-Tip.

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On our social agenda for the day we’ve got a dog lecture, a preserving historic buildings town hall meeting, and a vocabulary championship.

I don’t know about you, but usually when someone asks,”PittGirl, tell me what is your idea of fun.” My answer almost ALWAYS includes the words “lecture,” “town hall,” or “vocabulary.”

Just too damn much fun going on here.

Leslie? Shut. Up. God.

I think this might be why some guys hate it when girls try to talk football:

“As much as I love Ben,” Leslie Bagnoli told KDKA, “I think he needed another week off, but I still think he did great. I mean, yeah, a couple plays here and there but our boys are gonna do it. You know, we’re Super Bowl Champs. We’re gonna make it!”

Twenty bucks says that statement was followed by the raising of a beer in the air and a super screechy “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Assuming Leslie is a girl.  If Leslie is a guy, then I’m sure that statement was followed with the satisfying crunch of a fist to his face courtesy of his other male friends.

And …………….. DRINK!

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said the South Shore project and others are “prime examples of how we can move Pittsburgh forward,” not only in providing residents amenities but in helping to attract people to the city.

This is REALLY getting ridiculous.  We’re all going to be drunk 24/7 if this keeps up.