I’d rather sleep with Kim Jong, thanks.

So the bed bugs have invaded the Burgh, with KDKA reporting a surge of reports of the little buggers in local condos and apartments.

I figured, well this is a nice little harmless medical story. How nice for KDKA.

Then they showed what can happen if the bed bugs really go to town:

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So when my mother used to tuck me in and say “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” it wasn’t just a cutesy thing to say to an eight-year-old in braids. It was a dire warning that there could possibly be flesh eating minuscule monsters sleeping there with me in my Strawberry Shortcake bedding.

If I was living in an apartment and found one single bed bug in my bed, you can bet the hairspray and lighter would be in my hands in an instant, followed immediately by the firey torching of my bed.

And then when the firefighters showed up to put out the raging fire that had now consumed the entire building, I would be like: “Sir. It was a bed bug. A BED. BUG. I took care of it and you’re welcome. You’re not going to expose yourself are you?”


1 Comment

  1. Matt H
    October 19, 2006 10:02 am

    That’s nasty.