So the city is all aflutter because the Burgh was named as one of the most dangerous cities in the nation, at number 65 out of 317 metropolitan areas.
At first I was like, “How can this BE?”
I am a bit naive because I feel perfectly safe in the Burgh. I’m not saying I’ll hang out in the Hill at three in the morning, but I don’t worry while I’m walking to my car in the parking garage either.
Then I looked at the latest headlines from JUST this morning:
And now, I’m like, “Damn, this city is DANGEROUS!” while I’m Googling “Personal Tasers.”
And be ye warned violent assholes of the Burgh, because PittGirl will soon be armed with the SM-775 Stun Master 775,000 Volt Stun Gun.
I’m particularly excited to see what happens to a pigeon when it is hit with 775,000 paralyzing volts. I’ll let you know.