So this weekend was a busy one for the local anti-terrorism forces in the Burgh, or the Homeland Security team, or the Joint Terrorism Task Force, or whatever the hell we’re calling that group of people that are trying to keep the Burgh from getting nuked into B.C.
First up were those two idiot CMU students who tried to sneak into Heinz Field. Look, I’m not trying to like racial profile these guys, I’m just saying how stupid do you have to be to be any sort of Middle Eastern descent in this post 9/11 world and try to break into an NFL stadium two weeks after a bomb threat was received? REALLY stupid. SUPER stupid. And I just didn’t realize that CMU was letting the REALLY stupid people in these days.
Moving on, bomb sniffing dogs did detect explosive residue in the dudes’ car most likely a false positive from their camera equipment.
THEN, during a sweep of the Mellon Arena which is hosting the circus, they picked up on a trailer which contained … ready, the HUMAN CANNONBALL! These dogs are sniffing out HUMAN bombs.
I feel much safer.