Bomb sniffing dogs are smarter than you and me.

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So this weekend was a busy one for the local anti-terrorism forces in the Burgh, or the Homeland Security team, or the Joint Terrorism Task Force, or whatever the hell we’re calling that group of people that are trying to keep the Burgh from getting nuked into B.C.

First up were those two idiot CMU students who tried to sneak into Heinz Field. Look, I’m not trying to like racial profile these guys, I’m just saying how stupid do you have to be to be any sort of Middle Eastern descent in this post 9/11 world and try to break into an NFL stadium two weeks after a bomb threat was received? REALLY stupid. SUPER stupid. And I just didn’t realize that CMU was letting the REALLY stupid people in these days.

Moving on, bomb sniffing dogs did detect explosive residue in the dudes’ car most likely a false positive from their camera equipment.

THEN, during a sweep of the Mellon Arena which is hosting the circus, they picked up on a trailer which contained … ready, the HUMAN CANNONBALL! These dogs are sniffing out HUMAN bombs.


I feel much safer.


  1. theburgher
    November 6, 2006 1:06 pm

    My understanding is that they were sent to apply grease the home team’s footballs.

    To bad they’re not Kazakh. We follow the Hawk.

  2. cranberrytwp
    November 6, 2006 1:16 pm

    and they were sober…unreal…

  3. bern1
    November 6, 2006 1:31 pm

    The Human Cannonball rules.

  4. Ruby Vroom
    November 6, 2006 3:26 pm

    Rule #1? Know your audience. I feel like a drunken “we just really, really wanted to see the game, Occifer!” would have served these guys better than any other excuse or explanation. What Steeler fan’s heart doesn’t melt a little at a sign of crazed fan loyalty?

    Rule #2? Blend in with the locals. Um, being a couple of white guys from Greenfield sporting black/gold face paint wouldn’t have hurt.

  5. cityworker
    November 6, 2006 3:51 pm

    I still think the best part of this story is that these guys go to CMU. It makes me and my Pitt diploma feel a little more worthy today.

  6. andy's finest
    November 6, 2006 10:25 pm

    “And I just didn’t realize that CMU was letting the REALLY stupid people in these days.”

    Clearly, you don’t get around CMU much. A lot of them may be able to build a nuclear submarine out of a pop bottle, half a pack of Pez, and a box of toothpicks; unfortunately, they can’t cross Forbes without a guide dog.

    Love ya, Pittgirl

  7. After Further Review
    November 6, 2006 10:39 pm

    Reports said that they were going to film a music video. Can you possibly imagine what that video would have looked like, and what style of music would it have been hip-hop?