Hell. What kind of football hell are we stuck in?
The game was my nightmare and Santonio Holmes was my Freddy Kreuger.
Did you notice how quickly NBC queued up the footage of all of Asshat’s previous punt return shenanigans after he screwed up the first punt return of the game? You know the powers that be over at NBC were just waiting and wishing and hoping for another shittastic punt return. Boy did Christmas come early for them. I was horrified at the first one and oh, I just laughed at the second one. It’s like he’s TRYING to drop the ball.
The game was my dark scary house and Hines Ward was my Jason.
Why did he have to try to be the hero and leap into the endzone? It was first down. Also? If you look closely at that picture, you’ll see that Hines is indeed still smiling and shitting sunshine all over the place.
This season is my hell and Bill Cowher is my satan.
I swear every time they showed Bill Cowher on screen, whether the Steelers just did something good or whether the Steelers just did something atrociously horrible, The Chin had the exact same look on his face. That look like he’d hit Paris Hilton’s stash. Where’s the fire? Where’s the spit? Where’s …. the FREAKIN’ CHIN?
Where, my friends, are the Steelers?
But no matter what. And I mean, no matter WHAT … Troy Polamalu will always be my Tarzan and I’ll always be his Jane.