What they’re really thinking: Halloween Edition

Hell. What kind of football hell are we stuck in?

The game was my nightmare and Santonio Holmes was my Freddy Kreuger.

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Did you notice how quickly NBC queued up the footage of all of Asshat’s previous punt return shenanigans after he screwed up the first punt return of the game? You know the powers that be over at NBC were just waiting and wishing and hoping for another shittastic punt return. Boy did Christmas come early for them. I was horrified at the first one and oh, I just laughed at the second one. It’s like he’s TRYING to drop the ball.

The game was my dark scary house and Hines Ward was my Jason.

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Why did he have to try to be the hero and leap into the endzone? It was first down. Also? If you look closely at that picture, you’ll see that Hines is indeed still smiling and shitting sunshine all over the place.

This season is my hell and Bill Cowher is my satan.

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I swear every time they showed Bill Cowher on screen, whether the Steelers just did something good or whether the Steelers just did something atrociously horrible, The Chin had the exact same look on his face. That look like he’d hit Paris Hilton’s stash. Where’s the fire? Where’s the spit? Where’s …. the FREAKIN’ CHIN?

Where, my friends, are the Steelers?

But no matter what. And I mean, no matter WHAT … Troy Polamalu will always be my Tarzan and I’ll always be his Jane.



  1. trinity
    November 6, 2006 9:52 am

    the game was aired on cbs in my area & they put up a thing called “what gives” which showed how much better we’ve gotten in passing offense/defense, etc.


    i wish i hadn’t bought my tickets for the game in baltimore so early. i’d get them for a steal now.


  2. pittgirl
    November 6, 2006 10:07 am

    Yeah, ticket prices should drop any day now.

  3. Ruby Vroom
    November 6, 2006 10:26 am

    Cowher is dead inside. It’s like somebody sucked his soul out of his body through a straw. (As Pittgirl has previously pointed out, Pittsburgh is known for its zombie population.) His new name at my house is actually Dead Inside. For example, “Was Dead Inside even watching the game when Santonio made his first fumble? Why was he given the chance to do it again?!!!”

  4. MC
    November 6, 2006 12:08 pm

    I hear ya, trinity…

    We dropped a bundle for the Carolina/Pittsburgh game and now my buddy isn’t even sure he wants to fly down.

    With the Panthers at 4-4 and the Steelers at 2-6, I could have got these tickets so much cheaper.

  5. Joe
    November 6, 2006 1:44 pm

    I thought I might take this opportunity to point out how depressing it is that the Steelers after being on the high point of winning a super bowl are now probably the worst professional team in the city for 2006.

    The Penguins have a .600 winning percentage. The pirates had a .400 winning percentage. The Steelershave a .250 winning percentage. Lets quit talking about the negative – raise the jolly roger for the positive – how about a shout out for Crosby and Malkin!

  6. Joe
    November 6, 2006 1:55 pm

    Actually, I had one other thought. The success of the teams in Pittsburgh directly relates to the amount of effort people have spent b!tching about the thought of a new stadium or fact that we did build a new stadium.

  7. Megan
    November 6, 2006 2:42 pm

    Apparently, holding onto the ball with both hands was the first of many things that the Steelers failed to learn in high school.
    Turnovers once again culprit in 31-20 loss to Broncos
    Already, the Steelers have 24 turnovers, one more than all of last season, and they were at a loss to explain that difference as much as they were their stunningly poor first half of the season.

    “I don’t know,” said Foote. “Why do earthquakes happen? Nobody knows.”

  8. pr9000
    November 6, 2006 2:57 pm

    OMG, that Foote quote is funny. Reminds me of “Team America:”

    Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
    Chris: My God, that’s… I don’t even know what that is!
    Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!

  9. Dave
    November 6, 2006 7:01 pm

    What is wrong with you “Stiller fans”, don’t you know that this is the best way for the Steelers to win their next Super Bowl!! It took us 26 years to win after our last win in 1979. Do you want to wait another 26 years??? Let’s be reasonable and look at the long-term. It makes no sense to always be respectable and end up with mediocre draft positions, especially in this age of parity. Win the Super Bowl, get the hellacious schedule, become the first team to win a Super Bowl and then get the next year’s first draft pick. Re-tool quickly and make another run while you still have great players from your last Super Bowl. Maybe the team has learned something during those 26 years of “drought”, I certainly hope so!!!

  10. jack
    November 8, 2006 9:53 pm

    God that Cowher is one bad looking SOB. Good thing he has lots of money. Then again, his wife is no day at the beach either. Good thing they have money.

  11. Roberta
    November 12, 2006 12:06 pm

    I think a lot of fans are idiots. PITTGIRL wants to know why Hines “tried to be a hero”!!?!?! What a dumb remark. DUH, he was trying to score. DUH, there was only a little over a minute left and we needed two scores! DUH, that what he gets paid for. And this is just one example. Some people don’t deserve to be called Steeler fans. Glad it is not the silent majority. Thanks for trying so hard Hines, as well as the rest of the Steelers. Especially Coach Cowher. Win or lose, most of us are behind you!!