Such a sad sad story.

From the AP wire:

Pittsburgh, PA (AP): A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Pittsburgh courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Pittsburgh Steelers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Now THAT is just funny shit.


  1. Judge Rufus Peckham
    November 7, 2006 8:53 am

    The punchline to that one, which has made the rounds for some time, was always the Pirates, until now.

  2. Judge Rufus Peckham
    November 7, 2006 8:58 am


    Pittsburgh, PA – Pittsburgh Steelers football practice was delayed nearly two hours this morning after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Bill Cowher immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the goal line. Practice resumed after the experts decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.

  3. Chris
    November 7, 2006 9:53 am

    Wasn’t it the Browns last year? Or maybe the year before that….

  4. trinity
    November 7, 2006 11:05 am

    awesome. :)

    November 7, 2006 11:30 am

    The fact that ahr Stillers are now the butt of jokes is NOT awesome. The city’s emotional psyche hangs in the balance.

    November 7, 2006 11:30 am

    Speaking of Stillers jokes, John Kerry should start using them. Nobody would care when he’d fumble the punchlines.

  7. Striker
    November 7, 2006 3:21 pm

    That a good one :)
    Too bad its true..