Update on the dumbest people ever at CMU

The feds have decided they no longer need to be involved in the case of the CMU students who tried to break into Heinz Field in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

They’ve sufficiently concluded that the kids were just up to pranks/college stuff and didn’t mean any terroristic harm.

“The people I’ve talked to feel this is absolutely ridiculous,” said Ramzi Ramsey, a senior from Sacramento, Calif., who is president of the Undergraduate Finance Association. “I couldn’t see him hurting a fly. He’s an honor student, one of the top students in our business class.”

You know what? It isn’t ridiculous. Ridiculous is what they tried to do. Being investigated by the feds is exactly what should have happened. And besides, Ramzi Ramsey, how many times do you need to watch the six o’clock news to understand that after every murder, there is a neighbor saying into the camera, “I’m just so shocked. He wouldn’t hurt a fly … I thought.”

You know what else? Ramzi Ramsey is an AWESOME name.

Still, said one first-year Carnegie Mellon student, Aditya Natraj, “they should have known better. You can’t just do whatever you want. Just because you’re shooting a film. …”

She must be one of the smart ones over there at CMU.

So this is the end of the fed involvement for these two idiots … and the beginning of hearing a weird clicking noise every time they are on the phone from now until the day they die.


  1. Diogenes
    November 7, 2006 9:11 am

    Reminds me of Major Major from Catch-22.

  2. Patrick
    November 7, 2006 9:31 am

    Ramzi Ramsey? Hell, that’s almost as good as Silvestri Silvestri. Almost.

    Is old SS still around? Anyone know?

  3. Bob
    November 7, 2006 9:54 am

    If Ramzi Ramsey bought a box of condoms, they would then become Ramzi Ramsey’s Ramses.

  4. Zsa
    November 7, 2006 10:05 am

    I googled and couldn’t find any concrete proof as to whether SS (“A Name Worth Repeating!”) is still alive. But I did find the transcript of a 1996 case he was the senior judge on, which was a Joe McIntyre suing the unemployment compensation board. If that really was Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block that would be all sorts of awesome.

  5. Ed Heath
    November 7, 2006 1:20 pm

    I looked on the PG website, and found a 2002 reference to the late Silvestri Silvestri. Alas.

    Meanwhile, anyone who think that possible terrorists should be cleared because all they wanted to do was film Heinz Field is not paying attention. Anyone who thinks that no terrorists come from India or other parts of South Asia is not paying attention. I’m not saying these kids are terrorists, but I am little sorry the feds dropped it as fast as they did (unless that’s what the feds want us to think …or is that just what they’re expecting us to think? *ominous music*)

  6. Another Expat Burgher
    November 7, 2006 2:28 pm

    It’s all Sienna Miller’s fault. She made this whole film-making in Pittsburgh thang hotter than anyone since George Romero made shopping malls look sexy.

    GREAT blog, btw. Very entertaining… even if it’s making me ^@#$%*@ HOMESICK!