I like to wake up with my world intact. I like to know that the lesbian barista at Starbucks will flirt with me as usual. I like to know that a pigeon will probably accost me and then immediately regret it when I taser its ass. I like to know that somewhere on Grant Street the words “move forward” are being uttered ad nauseam. I like to know that I’ll probably eat something I shouldn’t for lunch and will fall asleep on the bus on the way home and then will probably eat something healthy for dinner when I’m really craving something … anything with buffalo sauce.
What I DO NOT need is waking up to find out there is a new yellow Wiggle.
A new yellow Wiggle? How am I supposed to deal with this kind of shit?
The first commenter that asks, “PittGirl, what do you care about the Wiggles?” is going to get politely pointed here.