Monthly Archives: November 2006

I’m too disabled to be police chief, but damn it, I can run this city!

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A bullet in the brain might have cost Dominic J. Costa his job as Pittsburgh police chief, but that hasn’t stopped him from considering a run for mayor.

Costa, who twice retired on medical disability, most recently in September, questions Mayor Luke Ravenstahl’s credentials and said he’s considering a Democratic primary challenge in May.

“Every day, people come up to me and say ‘You should run for mayor,’ ” said Costa, of Stanton Heights. “I feel humbled and flattered people in the city and in Allegheny County are urging me to run for public office.

“It would be remiss for me if I didn’t look into it.”

No. No. No no no no no!

Who are these people telling Dom Costa to run for Mayor?

With the gross amount of Costas running around this city … I’m guessing they are his relatives.

Also? I’m THIS close to starting a drinking game for every time Lukey or Dick Skrinjar, Mayor Ravenstahl’s chief of making shit up, trys to convince us that Lukey has no interest in politics:

Ravenstahl’s spokesman, Dick Skrinjar, said the mayor is “too busy being mayor to worry about politics.”

Shut UP, Dick.

Over at the Morningside Market in Morningside that Costa frequents, Vicki Moesta stopped him Tuesday, begging him to run.

“My dream would come true. I hope, I hope, I hope he runs,” Moesta said.

Ms. Moesta, if you are dreaming about Dom Costa … well … God help you. That is all.

Also, I highly recommend you click here, but first, swallow your coffee.


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Hot lesbian cell phone action.

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Add this one to the articles I’m pretty sure the Carbolic Smoke Ball wrote and the PG picked up as real.

Consider the Carrick woman whose cell phone was stolen Saturday from her car by an unknown man who reached into her front seat through an open window.

That evening the man called her other cell phone with the stolen phone and asked her if “the pictures on the phone were of her,” according to a report.

Seems the stolen phone featured naked pictures of a woman. The Carrick victim said the pictures were of her girlfriend and, when the caller asked, told him she was a lesbian.

The woman told police, however, that the photos were really of her and she told the lie to “throw the caller off.”

The next day, she accessed her phone account on the Internet and downloaded a recent photo the man had taken with the stolen cell phone. That picture? A penis.

Questions:

1. Who keeps naked pictures of herself on her cell phone? Who keeps naked pictures of herself on her cell phone, then leaves said cell phone unattended on the front seat of her car with the windows rolled down? This smacks of Paris Hilton.

2. Why did the thief call the woman? Was she incredibly hot and he was hoping that she would overlook the fact that he stole her phone and would begin dating him?

3. Is telling the man that you are a lesbian REALLY going to turn him off at all? If anything, she just made herself 3200% more appealing to him.

4. If the man believed that she was in fact a lesbian, why would he then take a picture of his penis for her?

5. How many friends, websites, etc. do you think this guy emailed her naked pictures to?

The mind. It boggles.


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911?

Again, my shallow bitchiness is coming out because this article had me chuckling.

“It’s an armed robbery and an assault,” said Vernon Township Sgt. Randy Detzel. “They knocked him to the ground and took his deer,” the Meadville Tribune reported.

I know I should be aghast that people kill deer (Hiya, PETA readers) and I know I should be aghast that lazy ass hunters steal dead deer (Hiya, hunting readers), but all I can think is, I just can’t imagine being on the receiving end of that 911 call.

“Yeah, some people came and stole my dead deer.”


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If Don Cannon can do it …

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Rob Owen, the Wendy-hating (but I imagine Burgh Blog-loving) TV writer for the PG, in addition to dropping the word “verisimilitude” pointed out in his Tuned In Journal, this article in the Onion:

PITTSBURGH—Veteran anchorman Don Cannon accidentally revealed his annual salary on-air Wednesday following a KDKA-TV News At 6 segment on the increasing costs of attending a four-year college. “Gosh, it seems like people everywhere are trying to do more with less,” Cannon remarked to co-anchor Patrice King Brown, referring to a family interviewed in the report. “Take it from me, it’s no picnic sending three kids to school when you’re only making $220,500. And that’s before taxes.” After the broadcast, KDKA was inundated with résumés from unemployed Pittsburghers, all emphasizing the fact that they, too, possess faces and can read aloud.

Yeah, I have to agree. If Don Cannon can do it, ANYBODY can do it.

By the way, other than his infamous breakdown on live television, what do YOU know about Don Cannon?


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What they’re really thinking: All Hope is Lost Edition

Watching this season of Steelers football slip quietly into the annals of “Embarrasing Shit that has Happened to the City of Pittsburgh,” the PittGirl family was the quietest it has ever been during a Steelers game, mostly because we weren’t watching football much.

The ladies gave up during halftime and gathered in the kitchen to drink wine, while the men stayed in the living room gazing up at the big TV hanging on the wall, verbally bashing the Steelers, but secretly thinking they still might eke out a win.

Yeah, right.

The only time a cheer, a clap, or a “yahoo” was heard was when Charlie Batch jogged onto the field with a look in his eye that he was ready to put his heart out there. The biggest boo was then heard when the resident expert lip reader (that would be PittGirl) let everyone know that while sitting on the bench with Charlie, Ben reassured Charlie that despite the vicious hit, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I feel good.”

Boo.

Poor Ben. He got thrown around like a horse in the mouth of Joey Porter’s dogs.

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And Hines Ward wasn’t smiling much, and I’m pretty sure during the end of the game he was looking like he was going to cry.

Mr. I Shit Sunshine is sure constipated right now.

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I don’t even feel sorry for the Steelers, nor am I mad at the hated Ravens. We played with no heart.

Troy’s hurt. Everybody is mad at everybody else on the team. We have no hope for this season. But never fear. Sunny happy PittGirl always looks on the bright side of things and finds some positivity in the worst of times: How ’bout that sunny warm weather this weekend?!?! Awesome!


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