I would provide witty comments on this news story

A Brookline man shot and killed after a police chase on the North Side was carrying drugs inside his colostomy bag, police said.

“He’s known to law enforcement before,” said Chief Harper during a press briefing yesterday at police headquarters on the North Side. The drugs, suspected of being heroin, were found in two bundles inside the bag Mr. Allen wore to collect body waste after an operation that removed portions of his digestive tract.

… but I’m too busy supressing my gag reflex.

Grossest news story of the year?   Shit, yeah.


  1. Chong
    December 28, 2006 10:11 am

    That’s good shit, man!

  2. Rob
    December 28, 2006 12:15 pm

    And this is different from mules swallowing balloons of cocaine and then, once arriving in the United States, being held by the drug dealers until they…eliminate…the product?

    At least there wouldn’t be the intestinal peristaltic pressure trying to force fecal matter into the cocaine wrapping. You do know that condoms are somewhat permeable to small molecules, right?

    Another reason I don’t do drugs….

  3. Lino Gunn
    December 28, 2006 12:29 pm

    Gives new meaning to, “It’s in the bag, Dude”.

  4. Anthony
    December 28, 2006 5:54 pm

    One of my favorite scenes in the movie “Scarface” is when Al Pacino calls intestinal peristaltic pressure a “cock-a-roach.”

  5. the_suburbanite
    December 29, 2006 10:26 am

    Nice hiding spot…no one would think to look there…



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