Overkill? No such thing.

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A teaser ran today on KDKA about the brown recluse spider being found here in the Burgh.

Having lived in Texas for four years while I attended college, I can tell you from my experience that the brown recluse spider is really Satan in spider form. This evil bitch will bite you and then your skin will form a ball of puss and then your skin will rot away. And then the muscle under the skin will rot away. Rot, I tell you.

I had a friend that got bit on the leg and after it was all said and done, she now has a hole under her skin. A hole, I tell you.

Another woman that worked on campus got bit on the eye. Her eyeball rotted away. Her eyeball, I tell you!

If you find a brown recluse in your house, do I think that if you stepped on that thing, then took your broom and bashed it six times, then had your dog chew it up and spit it out, then went and got your gun and shot the spider at point blank range, then scooped up the remains and put in in your blender on puree, that it would be overkill?

No. No I do not. In fact if you then put the pureed remains down the sink and turned the disposal on, I would say that is justaboutenough’okill.





8 Comments

  1. Woy
    February 2, 2007 6:39 pm

    Spiders are to Woy as pigeons are to Pittgirl.



  2. The Comet
    February 3, 2007 12:53 am

    Woah. Did you have Julie Gong guest-blog this item?



  3. GenieBottle
    February 3, 2007 10:47 am

    True fact – I was bitten twice – both times on a finger. Luckily I did not have too bad a reaction. The scary part is the doctor told me that each time the spider probably crawled on me while I slept at night. These spiders are around here, don’t believe it when they tell you they are not.



  4. PittsburghJack
    February 4, 2007 1:24 am

    I think we should blame Luke Ravenstahl for this spider problem since they weren’t spotted in this area until after he became mayor. There must be some connection.



  5. sallypierre
    February 4, 2007 11:12 am

    when i lived in tyler, my cat found a nest(?) in the garage. i thought we should burn the house down but my husband just called an exterminator. sent the kids to ohio and i moved to a hotel until i felt sure the only thing that could survive in my house was me.



  6. anna marie
    February 4, 2007 7:46 pm

    Could you please, please, pretty please hurry up and write another post, so that every time I open this blog, I don’t see a spider staring back at me? Thank you much! ;)



  7. Julie_Gong
    February 5, 2007 9:58 am

    I’m not sure if you meant it to be a good thing or not, The Comet, but I’m taking it as a good thing.



  8. The Comet
    February 5, 2007 1:37 pm

    You would be correct. I’m excellent at doling out undecipherable compliments that make people feel self-conscious, but they’re compliments.

    I was just about to add you to “Recommends” on my blogroll, but that very day you posted a long, long diatribe about your poo. So I had to put you on probation for a while.